


All Through the Night

by shanemagnum



Category: Clare Fergusson and Russ Van Alstyne Mysteries - Julia Spencer-Fleming
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-30
Updated: 2012-07-30
Packaged: 2017-11-11 01:41:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 20,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/473057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shanemagnum/pseuds/shanemagnum
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Disclaimer: I own nothing related to the Clare Fergusson/Russ Van Alstyne series. Everything belongs to Julia Spencer-Fleming; I just play in her back yard because it's cool there. No profits will be gained by this work. All liturgy was taken from the Episcopal Book of Common Prayer © 1986, the 1982 Hymnal and the New Zealand Prayer Book. One real life character, used by permission. No copyright infringement intended.<br/>A/N: Picks up directly following the end of OWaS. If you haven’t read that first, do not read. Rated M for sexual content. Russ/Clare, Kevin/Hadley, OC, RPF, mostly follows canon</p>
    </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing related to the Clare Fergusson/Russ Van Alstyne series. Everything belongs to Julia Spencer-Fleming; I just play in her back yard because it's cool there. No profits will be gained by this work. All liturgy was taken from the Episcopal Book of Common Prayer © 1986, the 1982 Hymnal and the New Zealand Prayer Book. One real life character, used by permission. No copyright infringement intended.  
> A/N: Picks up directly following the end of OWaS. If you haven’t read that first, do not read. Rated M for sexual content. Russ/Clare, Kevin/Hadley, OC, RPF, mostly follows canon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What?” His voice came out more harshly than he intended. “For God’s sake, just tell me.”  
> She turned around. Bit her lower lip. “It’s a good thing I was planning to quit the pills and booze.” She started to laugh, a loose, helpless laugh that was very close to crying. She held out her hands.  
> He took them. “I’m holding on.”  
> “Don’t let go.” She took a deep breath, “I’m pregnant.”  
> \- - One Was a Soldier by Julia Spencer-Fleming ©2011

_Tues, Nov 1, 2005_

“Pregnant?” Russ felt weak in the knees. “But… I thought…”

“Yes, Russ. I was on birth control.” Clare led her husband over to the couch before he could fall down. “Of course it’s not always perfect.” She let out a nervous laugh.

Russ laid his head back and sighed. “How far along do you think…?”

“Well, they did the blood work a few days before the wedding, so I’d say at least a month. But we won’t know for sure until I go see a gynecologist.” She moved over next to Russ and he pulled her close. They were both silent for a moment. “Are you okay with this? I know we both said we didn’t want children.”

Russ chuckled darkly into her hair. “I don’t know what to think right now, Clare.” He felt her stiffen in his arms. “Oh no, darlin’. I will love our child with all my heart. But I don’t know whether this should make me feel old or young.” Clare looked up at him and started laughing. “I mean it! I’m about to be a first time father and I’m old enough to be a grandfather.” He suddenly frowned. “I don’t even know if I’ll be a good father.”

Clare turned to face him. She cupped his face in her hands and leaned up to kiss him lightly. “Russ, you will make a wonderful father. I don’t doubt that for a moment. Don’t make me call your mother.” Her face lit up. “Oh, Margy will be ecstatic!”

Russ groaned. “Don’t go calling my mother yet.” He looked at her. “How do _you_ feel about this?”

“You know, I thought of having kids back when I was in the Army. When I was younger and before I went to seminary. But after that it was never something I really thought about.” She paused, thinking. “To be honest, now, I’m scared out of my mind. Oh, Russ. What am I gonna tell the bishop? My parishioners? Oh Lord, Elizabeth is going to be terrible.”

Russ reached up and wiped a tear from her eye. She hadn’t even noticed she was crying. “Darlin’, everything’s gonna work out. I promise. I love you and I will never leave you.” He picked her up suddenly and started walking up the stairs to their bedroom.

“Russ?” She put her arms around his neck automatically.

“I want to show you just how much I love you.” When they reached the landing, he kicked open their bedroom door and laid her down on the bed. He parted from her just long enough to pull his shirt off and sat down next to her. Russ reached behind her, unbuttoned her clerical collar, and she laid it on the bedside table. Clare started to unbutton her shirt when Russ pulled her hand away. She looked at him questioningly. “No. Let me.”

Clare closed her eyes as Russ kissed her passionately. She reached up and ran her hands through his hair pulling him closer and moaning. Before she knew it, Russ was sliding her shirt off her shoulders and letting it drop to the floor. Her bra quickly followed. They lay back on the bed just holding each other and enjoying the closeness.

Russ kissed her and ran his hands down her body to her waist. He unbuttoned her pants and helped her pull them off. Once they had hit the floor, Clare reached for him and got his off too. She could easily tell he was already hard, straining against his boxers. The back of her hand brushed him and he groaned. “Oh God, Clare. I love you. Want you so bad…”

He tugged off her panties and threw them across the room, not caring where they landed. Clare watched her husband with desire as he slithered out of his boxers and dropped them to the floor as well. He rejoined her almost immediately, pulling her into his arms. Russ kissed her gently and looked into her beautiful green eyes. Clare moved her hand to reach for him when she was stopped again. “No, Clare. Let me take care of you.” Russ reached down between her legs and moaned deeply just feeling the wetness he found there.

“It’s all for you, baby. Please… Want to feel you.” Clare said breathlessly.

“Not yet, darlin’. I want to try something different.” He moved down on the bed and kissed the insides of her legs. He looked up at her smirking.

“Russ? Are you su…?” Her hands flew to his hair. “Oh, Russ!” This was amazing. This was heaven. He slipped a few fingers inside her, felt her pulse around them and growled deep in his throat. “Please, Russ... I need to feel you.” He continued what he was doing for a few more minutes, until he just couldn’t take it any longer. Russ moved back up her body kissing her gently as he went. He slowed for a moment when he reached her breasts before continuing upwards and meeting her eyes. As he did so, he sank into her tight heat and they both moaned. He kissed her deeply, and she could taste herself on his tongue.

“God, Clare. So good…” He stayed still for a moment, letting her adjust before he began moving painfully slowly. It was such a romantic and loving moment that neither of them wanted to end. Until…

“Faster, Russ. Please!” He sped up and she thrust against him. Russ groaned and bit into her shoulder. He could feel her fingers digging into his back as she tried to hold on. “Yes! Oh God, yes! Russ, I’m going to…” She threw her head back into the pillows, and held onto him as she rode out the waves of their passion.

Russ followed moments later, shuddering, with his lips at her neck. “Clare!” They stayed there for a few minutes, just catching their breath and holding each other through the aftershocks. Russ rolled off her, pulling Clare to face him. He raised his hand up and cupped her face, pulling her in for a soft kiss. “You are so beautiful. I am such a lucky bastard.”

She laughed. “Just wait and see if you still say that in a few months, when I’m all fat and moody.”

“Nonsense. There can’t be anything more beautiful than the woman carrying my child.” He rolled onto his back and she cuddled up to his side. “Rest, darlin’. Everything’s going to be fine.” She drifted off to sleep in the arms of her husband. The one place she felt safe.

 

Clare woke a few hours later to an empty bed. “Russ?” she called.

“Down here, darlin’!” She got up and walked downstairs tying the sash on her robe. She saw he was on the phone. “Harlene, I’m taking tomorrow off. See if you can get Lyle and Eric to cover my hours. It shouldn’t be too busy unless… Yes I know that will put Eric on overtime but something’s come up and… No, everything’s fine.” He looked up at Clare and she came over to sit next to him. “I’ve just really got to take care of this. Yes, I’ll check in. Van Alstyne out.”

“Everything alright?”

“Of course. We’re going to Mom’s for dinner. We can tell her tonight.” He tucked a small piece of hair behind her ear.

“Alright. Why are you taking tomorrow off? Is something wrong?”

“No, but I want to go with you to the doctor’s office. Why don’t you call up your friend Anne, and see if she can work you in tomorrow?”

Clare smiled and kissed him on the cheek as she got up. “Okay, hon. Why don’t you go get a shower and get ready to go to your mom’s?”

“Promise you’ll call?” She nodded. “Alright. You should come join me when you get done on the phone.” He winked and walked up the stairs.

Clare walked into the kitchen, grabbed the portable, and sat down at the table. She stared at the phone in her hands for a minute before turning it on and dialing. “Hello. Yes. Can I speak with Dr. Vining-Ellis please? Sure, I’ll hold.” A soft click, and she heard classical music. The music stopped a moment later and she heard her friend. “Anne? Hey, it’s Clare. Yes, I’m fine, but I was wondering if you could fit me in for an appointment tomorrow. Well, I um… Need to get an ultrasound done.” Anne squealed on the other end and she held the phone away from her ear until she had stopped. “Yes I am, but please don’t say anything to anyone. We just found out today and are going to tell his mother tonight. Thanks. 10 o’clock? No, that’s perfect. Yeah, we’ll see you tomorrow. Bye, Anne.” She got up and hung the phone back up before heading upstairs to her husband.

Russ had left the bathroom door cracked and she could hear the water running, so Clare slipped out of her robe and into the bathroom. “That you, darlin’?” He poked his head out from behind the shower curtain. “Why don’t you join me, love?”

“Why, thank you, kind sir.” He helped her into the shower and pulled her towards him. “We’re all set with Anne. Appointment’s at ten, and she swore not to say a word.” She leaned against her husband and sighed. “Thank you for earlier, Russ. That meant so much to me. I don’t know what I would do without you.”

“I aim to please. And you know I will always be here for you.” He leaned down to kiss her. “Why don’t you get your shower while I get dressed?” He pulled back the curtain and stepped out. Clare cleaned herself up quickly and hopped out of the shower. Russ was buttoning up his shirt when she came out of the bathroom. She got dressed quickly and they got in the truck. They were silent on the drive to dinner, but Russ reached out to hold her hand on the way over. Russ could tell his wife was nervous and wasn’t quite sure how to break the tension. “Mom’s going to be so excited, you know. She never expected to actually get a grandchild out of me.” He squeezed her hand trying to give her some support.

“Russ…” He came to a stop at the light and looked over to see tears running down her face.

“Oh, darlin’. What’s wrong?” _‘Please tell me the mood swings haven’t already started’_ Russ thought as he pulled out a handkerchief to hand to his wife.

“I… I don’t know. I’m just so scared. I’m still messed up from Iraq, and now this?” She sniffed. “I’m a total wreck! How can I be a good mother?”

Russ pulled the truck into his mother’s drive, stopped, and pulled up the console. “C’mere, love. I know you will make a wonderful mother. You are a wonderful woman, the woman I love. And I’ll always be here to take care of you and our kid. I promise. C’mon let’s go inside so my mother can pamper you.” He kissed her lightly before throwing the door open.

Clare was unusually quiet during dinner. _‘That’s not like her at all,’_ Margy thought. _‘And Russell’s being overly attentive to her.’_ She sighed. “Alright, you two. What’s going on?”

Russ reached for his wife’s hand and held it tight. “Mom, we got some news today that was a bit of a shock.” He glanced at Clare to make sure she was okay. “We’re pregnant.”

“Oh, Sweetie! That’s wonderful. I’m so happy for you both.” Margy turned to her daughter-in-law. “How far along are you?”

Clare took a deep breath and tried to smile. “At least a month. I’ve got an ultrasound tomorrow.”

“Have you had any morning sickness or anything?” Margy got up to clear the table.

“No. Not really.” Clare tried to be evasive. Russ narrowed his eyes at her but she just shook her head. She remembered waking up from a terrible nightmare the night that Russ had proposed and vomiting, but she had just thought that had to do with her fear of Russ dying. _“Later,”_ she mouthed to her husband. He nodded.

“Well, make sure you call me if you need anything at all. You understand? I don’t care what it is. I went through it twice with Russell and Janet. You want me to come to the ultrasound with you tomorrow?”

“Mom! Don’t worry. I’m taking tomorrow off to go to the doctor with her. Speaking of, I better get her home to bed.” Russ offered a hand up to Clare and started walking towards the front door.

Clare stopped to give Margy a hug. “Thanks anyways, Margy. I’m sure Russ will take good care of me.”

“He better. You tell me if he doesn’t, and I’ll whip him into shape!”

“Yes, ma’am. I will.” Russ helped her up into the truck and shut the door. He climbed in the driver’s side and gripped the steering wheel, knuckles white. “Russ, I’m sorry. It only happened once and it was right after I woke up from a nightmare.”

He relaxed a little and reached a hand towards her. She took it. “Tell me.”

“It was the night you proposed. I was dreaming about flying a chopper in Iraq and we had just attacked a village. Buildings were on fire and there were bodies everywhere. I looked over and you…” She sobbed. “You were dead. I woke up screaming and crying and crawled to the bathroom.” Tears were streaming down her cheeks.

“Oh, Clare. I’m so sorry. I knew I should have stayed with you that night. Why didn’t you call me?” He pulled her over on the seat and into his arms.

“You had to work the next day.” As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she realized how stupid they sounded. He would have come over anyways.

“Never again. If you need me, you call me. Even if it’s just to talk. Understand?” She nodded and he squeezed her hand. “Let’s go home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Please review! I'm new at this, so I really would appreciate the reviews!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing related to the Clare Fergusson/Russ Van Alstyne series. Everything belongs to Julia Spencer-Fleming; I just play in her back yard because it's cool there. No profits will be gained by this work. All liturgy was taken from the Episcopal Book of Common Prayer © 1986, the 1982 Hymnal and the New Zealand Prayer Book. One real life character, used by permission. No copyright infringement intended.  
> A/N: Picks up directly following the end of OWaS. If you haven’t read that first, do not read. Rated M for sexual content. Russ/Clare, Kevin/Hadley, OC, RPF, mostly follows canon

_Wed, Nov 2, 2005_

Russ and Clare walked into the doctor’s office at a quarter to ten the next morning. “Hello, I’ve got an appointment with Dr. Vining-Ellis at ten.”

“Mrs. Fergusson?” Clare nodded. “Have a seat and we’ll call you back in a few minutes.” She joined Russ on a couch in the waiting room. They sat in silence for ten minutes until Anne came out to call them back.

“Reverend Clare? Right this way. Chief Van Alstyne. How are you?”

“Call me Russ, please.”

“Of course, Russ. We’ll be in room 11.” They walked down the hall to the exam room. “Clare, have a seat so I can take your vitals before we get started.” Clare hopped up on the table while Russ plopped himself in the chair. Anne got her blood pressure, pulse and temperature. “Everything looks normal. Clare, why don’t you go get changed into a robe, and I’ll get some information from your husband?”

“Sure.” Clare left the room.

Russ sat up and leaned forward. “What do you need to know?”

“Has she been taking any medications? Drinking? Anything out of the ordinary?”

“She was taking Percocet and self-treating with antibiotics when she came home from Iraq. Dr. Stillmann had prescribed her Ambien and Dexedrine. And yes, she’s been drinking. That’s how we found out that she was pregnant. Trip had ordered a blood test to make sure she wasn’t mixing. She’s been under a lot of stress since she got home from Iraq.” Clare slipped back into the room.

“Well, that would explain how you got pregnant.”

“What do you mean?” Clare asked as she got back on the table.

“I know you told me you were on birth control, but most antibiotics will counteract the hormones in the pill, making it ineffective.” Anne sighed. “Between your age, the drinking, and the amphetamines, this may very well be a high risk pregnancy.”

“Is Clare in any danger?” Russ got up to hold her hand.

“No, no. But I will want to keep a close watch on the baby’s development. Let’s take a look, shall we?” She turned the screen on and Clare lay back on the table. “This will be a little cold. Well, what do we have here? I believe… Clare, I see two babies here!”

“What!? Twins?” She looked up at Russ, who fell to the floor in a dead faint. “Russ!” Anne pulled a chair next to the table, and helped Russ onto it once she’d brought him around. “Are you alright, Russ?”

“For a moment there, I thought she said we were having twins.” He grabbed Clare’s hand again, looking shaken.

“That’s because you are. Which, of course, does make this a high risk pregnancy. From the size of them, I’d say you are a little over 9 weeks along.” Anne pulled out a calendar. “I’d say the conception date was sometime in mid-August. That puts your due date at around April 22. You are still in the first trimester but you should start showing any time now. I don’t want to scare you, Clare, but at some point I will most likely have to put you on bed rest. If you can see here, there are two separate amniotic sacs, so they are fraternal twins, rather than identical.” Clare and Russ both just stared at the screen in awe, holding each other’s hands. Anne smiled at them. They made such a cute couple. “I’ll print some pictures for you to take home.”

_Sat, Nov 12, 2005_

Clare was spending another morning huddled over the toilet. And Russ was yet again sitting on the side of the tub holding her hair back. The morning sickness had hit her a few days before. “Anything I can get you, darlin’?”

She shook her head. “Thank you for being here. I know you have to get ready for work.”

“Don’t worry about me. It’s not like I’m gonna get in trouble for being a little late. I am the boss, remember?” Clare leaned back between his legs and he wrapped his arms around her chest.

“That doesn’t mean a whole lot for me. I still have to get up and do two services tomorrow morning. Not like I can be late for that. I still wish you’d come. Especially tomorrow. I’m going to tell the congregation.” She leaned her head back to look up at him. “Please, baby. Be the priest’s husband for me.”

Russ sighed. “Alright. Fine. I’ll go.” She grinned. “I don’t have to be at both services, do I?”

“No. Just the ten o’clock should be fine. There aren’t a lot of people who show up for the 7:30, so I’ll just use that one for practice. It will be so nice to look out and see you sitting there.”

Just then, his cell phone went off and he got up to answer it. “Who in the blazes would be calling me this early? Hello? Oh, Lyle. I’ll be in soon. No, I’m fine. Just having a bit of a rough start this morning.” Clare wandered into their bedroom and sat down on the bed next to him. “Alright, alright. I’m leaving now. Van Alstyne out.”

“What was that all about?” Clare laid back and Russ tucked her back into bed.

“Lyle’s just freaking out. Sometimes I wonder if he’ll even be able to handle the force when I retire.” He leaned down to kiss her lightly. “I’m off to work. I want you to stay in bed most of the day. I know you’re exhausted and you have a busy day tomorrow. Get some sleep. Call me if you need me. I love you.”

“Yes, honey. Love you too.” She heard the front door close, Russ starting his truck and pulling out of the drive. The phone rang moments later, making her jump. “Hello? Oh hi, Mother. I’m fine. No, you didn’t wake me. Russ just left for work. Listen, is Daddy there? Have him pick up on the other line.” She waited for a moment. “Hey Daddy. There’s something I need to tell you both, but you better sit down. Yes, we’re both fine but… Well, I’m pregnant.” The cacophony coming through the line from Virginia was insane. “That’s not all. It’s twins.” Clare couldn’t help it. She started laughing.  It seemed to be getting a little easier each time she told someone.

Russ, however wasn’t having such a good time of it at the station. “Morning all.”

“Good Lord, why on earth do you smell like vomit?” Lyle never was one to mince words. Russ just ignored him and slipped into his office. Of course his deputy followed him. “You’re not drinking again are you?”

“No. I’m not drinking. Just sit down and shut the door, will you?” Russ dropped into his desk chair. He took a deep breath. “Clare’s pregnant. With twins. She’s had some morning sickness.”

Lyle grinned and leaned back in his chair. “Whoa ho ho… How fast was that, you stud! Congratulations, old friend!”

“Thanks. Don’t say anything to anyone yet though. Clare’s telling the church tomorrow.”

“Of course, Chief.” Lyle got up, still smiling, and headed out for duty.

Russ pulled the newest sonogram picture out of his pocket and leaned it up against his and Clare’s wedding picture, which he kept on his desk. _‘I’m gonna be a father.’_ He couldn’t help but smile too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Please review!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing related to the Clare Fergusson/Russ Van Alstyne series. Everything belongs to Julia Spencer-Fleming; I just play in her back yard because it's cool there. No profits will be gained by this work. All liturgy was taken from the Episcopal Book of Common Prayer © 1986, the 1982 Hymnal and the New Zealand Prayer Book. One real life character, used by permission. No copyright infringement intended.  
> A/N: Picks up directly following the end of OWaS. If you haven’t read that first, do not read. Rated M for sexual content. Russ/Clare, Kevin/Hadley, OC, RPF, mostly follows canon

_Sun, Nov 13, 2005_

Russ checked his coat and tie for lint one last time before walking up the steps to St. Alban’s. He spotted his wife greeting parishioners as they came in. “Chief Van Alstyne? Is that you?” He spun around.

“Ah, Dr. Vining-Ellis. Yes, Clare asked me to come this morning. I’m a little nervous. I don’t want to embarrass her.”

“Oh, don’t worry. Sit with us and we’ll walk you through it.” They walked up the steps towards the nave. “Reverend Clare. Wonderful to see you. Look who we found outside!”

Clare saw Russ looked handsome as ever in his coat and tie. He leaned in to give her a kiss on the cheek. “Told you I’d come.”

“Thank you. Are you sitting with the Ellis family?” Russ nodded. “Sit on the aisle, if you don’t mind. I want to keep an eye on you.” She winked at him.

Russ followed them inside and got an order of service from the usher. They sat down fairly close to the front on the Epistle side, and he looked over the bulletin. “What does BCP mean?” he asked Willem Ellis, who was sitting next to him.

“Book of Common Prayer. It’s the red one. The blue one is the hymnal.” He only had a few minutes to look through them both before he heard his wife speak from behind him.

“The processional hymn will be number 473.” Everyone stood as the organist started playing. Russ fumbled for the blue hymnal and turned to the right page.

 _“Lift high the cross, the love of Christ proclaim till all the world adore his sacred Name.”_ He tried to pay attention to what everyone else was doing and sing at the same time but just couldn’t. Everyone, but him, bowed as the crucifer passed by. Eventually they stopped singing and Clare faced the congregation.

“The service of Holy Eucharist, Rite II begins on page 355 of the Book of Common Prayer.” More fumbling. God, he was sure he looked like an idiot. “Blessed be God: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.”

“And blessed be his kingdom, now and forever. Amen.” Clare said some prayer and they sang again.

He realized he had kind of phased everything out but looked up as he heard his wife say “Let us pray.” Everyone bowed their heads. “Blessed Lord, who caused all holy Scriptures to be written for our learning: Grant us so to hear them, read, mark, learn, and inwardly digest them, that we may embrace and ever hold fast the blessed hope of everlasting life, which you have given us in our Savior Jesus Christ; who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. _Amen_. Please be seated.”

Russ sat attentively through the readings and he actually stood for the Gospel. He knelt for the Prayers of the People and she thought she just might have heard his deep voice join in on the Confession of Sin. Clare was so proud of him. She stood up to give the Absolution and noticed that she was right. He was reading the confession! She got teary-eyed as she said for the first time, looking straight into her husband’s eyes: “Almighty God have mercy on you, forgive you all your sins through our Lord Jesus Christ, strengthen you in all goodness, and by the power of the Holy Spirit keep you in eternal life. Amen.” She motioned for them all to stand. “The peace of the Lord be always with you.”

“And also with you!” Clare turned to exchange the peace with Elizabeth de Groot but really she wanted to seek out her husband. She turned back and locked eyes with him. He stepped out into the aisle and moved towards her.

“When are you making the announcement?” He leaned down to give her another kiss on the cheek.

“Right after the Peace. Sit back down for now but I’ll have you stand when I tell them.”

“Do I have to?” He whined, but she pretended not to hear and moved on to greet other parishioners.

“Please be seated. Do we have any announcements?” Geoff Burns made an announcement on behalf of the vestry, and Elizabeth reminded them about a diocesan women’s retreat coming up. “Please remember, the first annual pumpkin pie bake will be next Sunday, the 20th in the parish hall at 4pm. We will be taking them to the soup kitchen on Monday. Any others? No? Russ, could you join me please?” He got up and moved to stand next to his wife. “One more announcement. I’m sure you all know my husband, Chief Van Alstyne.” A few smiles and nods. “We would like to let you all know that by the end of April, we will have two new little parishioners joining us.” She heard a couple gasps and saw more than a few smiles as she gripped his hand. “We’re expecting twins.” There was a short round of applause. She smiled out at her church family. “Thank you, Russ. You can sit back down now,” she whispered. He slid back into his seat and accepted a few handshakes and congratulations from people surrounding him. She walked back up to the front of the church and faced the congregation. “Walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave Himself for us, an offering and sacrifice to God.”

Clare kept an eye on Russ throughout the Eucharistic Prayer as well. He was following along and speaking when he should, but she got a real shock when he actually came up for Communion.

“The Gifts of God for the People of God. Take them in remembrance that Christ died for you, and feed on him in your hearts by faith, with thanksgiving.” Maybe it was just because it was the first time she had done so, but giving the Host to her husband was something she would never forget. “Russ, the Body of our Lord Jesus Christ keep you in everlasting life.”

“Amen.” She looked into his eyes. She couldn’t be sure until she’d spoken with him later but something seemed almost softer there. Almost as though a burden had been lifted. He smiled up at her before taking a sip from the chalice that Elizabeth was offering him.

“Will, the Body of our Lord Jesus Christ keep you in everlasting life.” They finished with the communion and she made sure to hand the remaining wine off to her deacon, Elizabeth. Clare watched as Russ said the post communion prayer and sang the recessional hymn.

“Go in peace to love and serve the Lord.”

“Thanks be to God.” Clare took up her post at the bottom of the steps greeting everyone and receiving congratulations on her pregnancy from everyone on their way to the parish hall for coffee hour. It was only a few minutes before Russ slipped up next to her and put his arm around her waist. She greeted the rest of the congregation and they walked towards her office so she could get out of her vestments. Russ watched as she took off her stole and kissed the cross in the middle before hanging it up with her chasuble. She turned to him with her hands on her growing belly and his breath hitched. She had started showing the week before but for some reason it seemed more pronounced today in her clericals.

She smiled. “I’m going to have to order maternity clericals and ABU’s soon. I’ll put in the order for a uniform next weekend when I report for duty.” Russ pulled her into his arms.

“I wish you didn’t have to go. I’m so scared that your battalion will be called up to go to Iraq again.”

“Well, even if it does, I’ll be exempt. They won’t send me over there while I’m pregnant. I’m planning on telling my commanding officer when I get down to Latham.” She reached up and put her hand on his cheek. “Don’t worry, Russ. I’ll be fine. Come on. Let’s go on over to the parish hall.” They stepped back into the main office where they were confronted by an unwelcome visitor.

“Well, well, well. Vicar. So the rumors are true.” Hugh Parteger was leaning against the door with his arms crossed. She hadn’t even noticed him at the service.

“Hugh. It’s nice to see you,” Clare lied, and felt Russ tense up behind her. She grabbed for his hand to calm him.

“Ah, and Andy Griffith as well. How… expected.” Russ gritted his teeth.

“What do you want, Parteger? If you’ve just come to insult me and my wife you can leave.” Oh, if he could just arrest the guy for something and knock him down a few pegs.

“So, sheriff. How does it feel to get my sloppy seconds?” Hugh smirked.

Clare’s mouth dropped open and she turned to her husband, who looked ready to kill. “Russ, I didn’t! We never did anything, I swear!” She turned back to Hugh. “How dare you insinuate such a thing!”

“Cut the act, vicar! I bet he was glad his wife died just so he could steal you away from me!” He weaved a little bit as he stepped away from the door and Clare realized he was drunk.

“Have much to drink today, Parteger? Why don’t you have a seat?” _‘Gotcha.’_ Russ stepped up and pushed him into a chair. _‘Damn. I’m not in uniform.’_ He reached in his pocket, pulled out his cell phone and dialed the station, at the same time, showing Hugh his badge. “Harlene, I got a drunk and disorderly over at St. Alban’s. No. I’m not in uniform. Send Lyle over won’t you? Thanks. We’re in the office. Van Alstyne out.” He slipped the phone and his badge holder back into his coat pocket. “Don’t move, Parteger. Clare, do me a favor and go wait for Lyle to get here.” She looked like she wanted to argue. “Please, love.”

Russ waited for her to leave before turning back to Hugh and towering over him. “So. Just couldn’t leave well enough alone, could you?”

“You can’t arrest me. I haven’t done anything.”

“Drunk and disorderly. Harassment. You wanna add to the list?” Hugh jumped up and grabbed Russ by his jacket.

“You stole my goddamn girlfriend! She was supposed to be mine, you jackass!” Hugh shoved him against the wall of the office and attempted to punch him but Russ dodged it and pinned his arm behind him.

“Assaulting a police officer as well. Clare was never yours, and never will be. When will you get that through your thick skull?”

Lyle came running in with Clare right behind him. “I heard shouting. You alright, Chief?”

“I’m fine. Book him for drunk and disorderly, harassment, and assault of a police officer.” Russ stepped away as Lyle handcuffed him and led him outside.

They could hear Lyle reading Hugh his rights as they walked to the cruiser. “Hugh Parteger, you are under arrest. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney during interrogation; if you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed to you.”

Clare ran into her husband’s arms. “Oh, Russ. Nothing happened between us. I promise. You believe me, don’t you?”

“Of course, love. He was just trying to rile me up. I almost snapped. A few more minutes and he could have claimed police brutality.” He buried his face in her hair and sighed.

“What happened? Did he hurt you?”

“He grabbed me and slammed me against the wall. He tried to punch me but missed. I wasn’t quite expecting that. I should probably head over to the station so I can write up the report. You alright, darlin’?” Russ could tell she was a little shaken up.

“Yeah. I’m going to head over to the parish hall. Coffee hour should be nearly over. Do you need me to come over when I’m done here?”

“No, that’s alright. I’ll come home as soon as I finish up. It’s been an exciting day and it’s not even noon. Why don’t you go home, lie down, and I’ll come join you for a nap?” He gave her a kiss and headed to get his truck.

Clare sighed and locked up the office before heading over to the parish hall. Anne was cleaning up when she walked in. It looked like everyone else had left. “Reverend Clare! Where’d you disappear to?”

“Had a little problem in the office. Lyle MacAuley had to take the guy in. I’d rather not discuss it. God, I wish I could have a drink.” Anne shot her a look as she sank into the kitchen chair. “I won’t. I stopped as soon as I found out I was pregnant.” She looked around. “Anything I can do?”

“Not a thing. I’ve got Will wiping the tables down and Chris is taking out the trash. We’ll be out of here shortly. You look like you could use a nap. Why don’t you go on home and I’ll lock up?”

“Thanks, Anne. I really appreciate it. I’ll see you on Wednesday for my appointment?”

“Sure thing. Now go get some rest.” Clare walked over to the rectory and lay down in the bed. She felt completely drained, but it took a long time before she actually fell asleep. She woke up briefly when Russ climbed into bed and wrapped his arms around her.

“Go back to sleep, darlin’. I’ve got you. You’re safe, and that pompous jerk is behind bars where he belongs.”

“Love you, Russ,” she said sleepily.

“I love you too, Clare.”

 

She was back in Iraq. And she was back in the pilot’s seat. Flying over the death and destruction below her. She reached over and touched the picture of Russ she kept taped to the instrument panel. “I love you, Russ,” she whispered one last time as the missile hit her copter and she went down, screaming the whole way. She could have sworn she heard Russ calling for her as she fell to her death.

 

Russ was holding her, wiping her tears and trying to wake her up. “Clare, darlin’. Wake up! It’s just a dream. Clare, you’re safe. Wake up, love!” She opened her eyes suddenly, grabbed onto him, and started bawling into his chest. “Ssh. You’re fine. I’m right here. You’re safe. I’m holding on. Not letting go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Please review!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing related to the Clare Fergusson/Russ Van Alstyne series. Everything belongs to Julia Spencer-Fleming; I just play in her back yard because it's cool there. No profits will be gained by this work. All liturgy was taken from the Episcopal Book of Common Prayer © 1986, the 1982 Hymnal and the New Zealand Prayer Book. One real life character, used by permission. No copyright infringement intended.  
> A/N: Picks up directly following the end of OWaS. If you haven’t read that first, do not read. Rated M for sexual content. Russ/Clare, Kevin/Hadley, OC, RPF, mostly follows canon

_Mon, Nov 14, 2005_

_“She doesn’t own a dress. Her hair is always a mess, you catch her stealin’, she won’t confess. She’s beautiful…”_ Russ’s cell phone went off in the middle of the squad room. He ignored the snickers coming from his force. “Hey, darlin’. What’s up?”

“Russ, can you come home?”

“What’s wrong?” He was already putting on his coat. “Are you okay?”

“I just need you to come home. Please.”

“I’m on my way.” He slapped his phone closed and was out the door at a run. He was home within minutes, and running through the front door. “Clare!?”

“Russ?” he heard her say from upstairs. He bounded the steps and saw his wife laying on their bed wearing close to nothing at all, smiling up at him.

“Clare?”

“Happy birthday, Russ.” He smirked and climbed into bed with her.

“And a happy one it is…”

 

_Wed, Nov 16, 2005_

“Hello Clare! How are we feeling today?” Anne walked into the exam room and started getting set up.

“Well, the morning sickness seems to have finally stopped. I haven’t woken up puking for the last 2 days now,” Clare laughed.

“Wonderful. That’s to be expected at this stage and I’m sure you are grateful. I know I was when it stopped. Let’s fire up the baby finder.”

“When do we get to find out the sex of the babies?”

“We may be able to see as early as next week. You might want to make sure Russ is here for that. Where is he, by the way?” Anne was spreading the jelly on Clare’s stomach. “You’re definitely getting a little baby bump here.” She smiled.

“He had to go to court for the guy that we had the problem with on Sunday.”

“Oh, yeah. What was that all about anyways?”

“Remember Hugh?”

Anne frowned. “Parteger? Yeah. What happened?”

“Well, it seems he had parked across the street and waited for me to come out of the church. Drunk as he could be. He came into the office and started insulting both me and Russ. Russ called the station and got someone to come and arrest him on a drunk and disorderly. While I was waiting on Lyle to show up, Hugh tried to punch Russ. So he got charged with assault of a police officer as well. I’d hate to think what could have happened if Russ hadn’t come to church that morning.”

“Wow. I’m so glad you guys are okay. No wonder you wanted a drink,” Anne said laughing. “Alright, Clare. The babies look great. Baby A is just a little larger than baby B but that’s normal. And it looks like you’ve got a little wiggler here.”

“Which one? Oh my goodness, I see it now. Awww… I wish Russ was here to see this! Wow. That one’s really moving. And the other one just moved too! This is unreal. I wish I could call them by their sex. It just seems so weird saying ‘it’, you know?”

“I completely understand. You’re all done. Let me print some more pictures for you and you’ll be ready to go.”

Clare sat up and got herself put back together. “Anne? This is kind of awkward but, when should Russ and I stop having sex?” she asked, blushing wildly.

Anne looked up at her friend’s face and burst out laughing. “It’s not really funny. I’m sorry.” She sobered up, but was smiling when she answered. “To be honest, that’s up to you. I would advise against any ‘strenuous’ sex, but just keep an eye on things. If you start having heavy contractions, or spotting afterwards, you should stop. It may take you a while to find a comfortable position, especially once you get larger. When you get into the third trimester though, you most likely won’t even want to have sex.”

Clare gave a sigh of relief. “Thanks. I was a little worried about that part. With us being newlyweds and all.” She laughed and gave Anne a hug before leaving.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Please review!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing related to the Clare Fergusson/Russ Van Alstyne series. Everything belongs to Julia Spencer-Fleming; I just play in her back yard because it's cool there. No profits will be gained by this work. All liturgy was taken from the Episcopal Book of Common Prayer © 1986, the 1982 Hymnal and the New Zealand Prayer Book. One real life character, used by permission. No copyright infringement intended.  
> A/N: Picks up directly following the end of OWaS. If you haven’t read that first, do not read. Rated M for sexual content. Russ/Clare, Kevin/Hadley, OC, RPF, mostly follows canon

_Sun, Nov 20, 2005_

“Russ, I’m home!” Clare yelled as she walked in the rectory and dropped her rucksack on the floor. “Russ?”

“Be down in a minute!” He yelled back.

Clare sat down on the couch and tugged off her boots as Russ walked in to give her a kiss. “Oh, my feet are killing me. You wouldn’t believe how comfortable these uniform pants are, though. They’re like pajamas! And I’ve got some news to put both of our minds at ease.”

“Slow down, darlin’. So you got the maternity ABU’s. Where’s your blouse?” he asked, looking around.

“That’s my news.” She handed it to him.

“I don’t get it. How does a new blouse put my mind at… Wait, a cross?” Russ looked up at his wife. “They let you switch your MOS to chaplain?” She nodded, grinning at him. He grabbed her in a bear hug, laughing. “Oh, love! That’s wonderful. God, that makes me feel so much better.” He kissed her deeply.

“I missed you so much this weekend.”

“I missed you too, Clare. But I’ve got a surprise for you too. Wait right here.” He ran outside to the shed where he kept all his woodworking tools. He walked back in the house holding a homemade rocking horse. “I made a little something for the nursery.”

“Oh, Russ. It’s adorable.”

“It’s not completely finished yet. I’ve still got to sand it down and stain it; put a few finishing touches on it. You really like it?”

“Like it? I love it!” She leaned over and kissed her husband again. “Thank you.”

 

They were lying in bed when Clare decided to bring up the Sunday before. “Russ? Can I ask you something?”

“Yeah. Sure love,” he mumbled. He was reading through some reports from the station and a little distracted.

“You know last Sunday at church?” He looked over at her with his eyebrow raised. “Did you mean those prayers you said? I mean, were you just following along or was that really the way you felt?”

Russ pulled his glasses off and rested them on top of the reports. “To be honest, I’m not totally sure.” He sighed. “During the service, I felt this sense of calm just wash over me. Never felt anything like it before. It was definitely strange. I won’t argue that. But something just felt right. I almost felt… I dunno, at home? Does that make sense?”

She smiled. “It does. It makes a lot more sense than you would think.” Russ looked up at her, pensive.

“Is He real?”

“Yes.”

“How do you know for sure?”

“You don’t. All we have is faith. A simple, child-like faith.”

“Jesus…” It wasn’t a question or even a prayer, but she smirked and took it as one anyways.

“Yes.” He rolled his eyes at her. She turned to face him and took his hand. “Russ? Would you like to ask Him into your life?”

“I wouldn’t know how, Clare. I’m not like you.”

“It’s not a test. This isn’t about how strong you are, or intelligent. It just means you have faith that He’s real and you want Him to be a part of your life.” She looked into his eyes. “He loves you, Russ. And He wants to be a part of your life. All you have to do is let Him in.”

“What if it doesn’t work? What if I pray some prayer and nothing happens?”

“If you truly mean what you pray, then it will, as you so eloquently put it, ‘work’. But it’s not like an overnight thing. You accept him in and He changes your heart to one that’s bigger and cleaner with more love to give than ever before. He cleans out the grime and the muck and makes you reborn as His child. He takes all your sin and carries it as His burden. It’s no longer yours. That’s why He died for us. To take it all away and forgive us for everything we’ve done. It’s a gift, Russ. Like I’ve told you before, we get what we’re given. Not what we deserve.” She cupped his cheek with her hand and ran her fingers through his graying hair. “I’m not going to push you. If you want to do it, all you have to do is come to me.”

Russ seemed to be deep in thought. “Alright.” He paused. “Okay. Why not? What do I have to lose?”

“Are you sure?” He nodded. “Alright. All you have to do is repeat after me. Take my hands and close your eyes.” He did. She leaned forward and put her head against his. “Thank you, God, for loving me, and for sending your Son to die for my sins. I sincerely repent of my sins, and receive Christ as my personal savior. Now, as your child, I turn my entire life over to you. Amen.” He repeated the prayer and they sat in silence for a few moments before he looked up into her eyes.

“What am I supposed to feel?”

“Whatever you feel is what you’re supposed to be feeling.”

“I thought it would be like some amazing thing. Angels singing and all that crap.”

Clare giggled. “No. We can’t see it, but there’s a huge party in heaven right now. And He’s happy, Russ. All He wanted was for you to come to Him. You were always one of His, but He’d lost you. Now, you’ve come home.” She smiled and kissed him. “Welcome home, Russ.”

 

_Wed, Nov 23, 2005_

Clare got up for Morning Prayer at 5:30. She knelt by the window at her prie-dieu and opened the prayer book. She began to read Psalm 51 quietly, so as to not wake her husband.

“Open my lips, O Lord, and my mouth shall proclaim your praise. Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from your presence and take not your Holy Spirit from me. Give me the joy of your saving help again and sustain me within your bountiful Spirit.” She crossed herself. “Glory to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit: as it was in the beginning, is now, and will be forever. Amen.”

“Amen.” She hadn’t noticed Russ was awake until he spoke. He slid out of bed and knelt down next to her. “What do I have to do, love?”

“Do you know the Lord’s Prayer?” He nodded. “Why don’t we say it together?”

“Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy Name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever and ever. Amen.”

Clare took over from there and said another prayer, holding tight to his hand. “Lord God, almighty and everlasting Father, you have brought us in safety to this new day: Preserve us with your mighty power, that we may not fall into sin, nor be overcome by adversity; and in all we do, direct us to the fulfilling of your purpose; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.”

“Amen.” He helped her up and pulled her into his arms.

“I’ve got something for you. I’ve been holding onto it for a while, but I really want you to have it.” She sat down on the bed, pulled a small box out of the bedside table, and handed it to him. He sat down next to her and opened the box. Inside was a rough silver pendant on a heavy chain. On the pendant was an angel holding a sword and shield. He flipped it over in his hand and he saw that engraved on the back were the words ‘Protect us.’

“Thank you.”

“It’s Saint Michael. He’s the patron saint of police officers. To keep you safe. Will you wear it?”

He slipped it over his head and felt it lie heavily around his neck. “Always.”

 

“Looks like the twins are developing fine. Do you want to know the sexes?” Clare took her husband’s hand and looked back to Anne.

“Yes.”

“Well, let’s take a look.” She maneuvered the screen around so they could see it better. “If you see right here. This is baby A and this one on the right is baby B.” She moved around trying to get a better shot with the ultrasound. “The positioning of baby B is going to make it impossible to see right now. However if you look at this, it looks like baby A is a little boy.” Russ squeezed his wife’s hand. “We should be able to see a little more clearly in a couple weeks. So don’t go shopping just yet.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Please review!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing related to the Clare Fergusson/Russ Van Alstyne series. Everything belongs to Julia Spencer-Fleming; I just play in her back yard because it's cool there. No profits will be gained by this work. All liturgy was taken from the Episcopal Book of Common Prayer © 1986, the 1982 Hymnal and the New Zealand Prayer Book. One real life character, used by permission. No copyright infringement intended.  
> A/N: Picks up directly following the end of OWaS. If you haven’t read that first, do not read. Rated M for sexual content. Russ/Clare, Kevin/Hadley, OC, RPF, mostly follows canon

_Sat, Nov 26, 2005_

Russ walked into the kitchen where Clare was going over her sermon. “I’m off to the station, darlin’. I’m gonna be working late tonight, so Mom invited you to dinner at her house.”

She wrapped her arms around his waist and looked up at him from her chair. “I swear, Margy is trying to spoil me to death. Any clue what time you’ll get away?”

“Unfortunately, no. Hopefully it’ll be a quiet night and I’ll get to be home by 3am. Be careful on the roads out to Mom’s. It’s getting icy out there.” He leaned down and gave her a kiss.

“I will. Be safe, Russ. I love you.”

“I always am. Love you too.” He gave her another quick kiss before heading outside and jumping in his truck.

Clare got up and watched him through the window as he pulled out of the driveway. “Father, keep him safe.” She put her hand on her belly. “Keep him safe…”

 

He was driving down Cossayaharie Road around 10pm when he got the squawk. “Ten-fifty-seven come in. This is Dispatch. We got an incomplete 911 call from the Dew Drop. Shots fired.”

“Dispatch, this is ten-fifty-seven. I copy. Headed over now. Send Knox and Flynn over for backup. Van Alstyne out.” Russ flipped on his red-and-whites.

“Roger that, Chief. Be careful. Dispatch out.”

 

Clare was just finishing up a cup of tea with Margy when her cell phone rang. Oddly enough, her mother-in-law’s house was one of the few places she got a signal up in the Adirondacks. She recognized the number for the station and looked up at Margy, panicked. “It’s the station… Harlene? Is something wrong with Russ? Please God, no! Where did they take him? Okay. We’re on our way.” She gripped the table, tears streaming down her face as she hung up the phone. Margy stood up slowly, staring at Clare. “It’s Russ… He’s been shot. They’re taking him into surgery now.”

Margy pulled her up into a hug. “He’ll be okay. Come on, I’ll drive. Grab your coat.” Clare was shutting down. Margy gripped her by the arms. “Clare, Russell needs you to be strong right now. And those babies need you.”

“I… I need my traveling kit. In the Jeep.”

“We’ll take the Jeep anyways. It’s better on all this ice than my Camry.” She marched her daughter-in-law outside and climbed in the Jeep. “Keys?” Clare fumbled in her pocket and handed them over to Margy. It was a mark of how dire the situation was that she sped most of the way to the hospital.

They pulled up to Washington County Hospital in record time and ran into the ER. Thankfully, Clare knew the woman working the desk tonight. “Alta! Where’s Russ?”

“He’s still in surgery. Officer Knox is in the waiting room. She can tell you what happened.” She hadn’t even finished talking before they took off again and saw Hadley sitting in a chair, looking like her world had just collapsed.

“Hadley! What happened?”

“We… were responding to a call over at the Dew Drop. Chief was already there when Kevin and I showed up. Thank God he was wearing a vest. He took one to his chest trying to save me.” Clare’s breath hitched realizing just how close she’d come to losing her husband. _‘Thank you for sparing him, Lord,’_ she thought. Hadley sniffled. “Chief got hit in the shoulder and Kevin got one in the leg. The doctor said they should be fine but we have to wait until they come out of surgery.” The trio sat in silence for close to an hour, waiting for news of their loved ones.

“Margy, was Russ ever baptized?” Clare asked suddenly.

“Yes. We had both him and Janet baptized as children. Why?”

“Reverend Fergusson?” Clare and Margy jumped up and ran over to the doctor who was walking out of a swinging door. “Chief Van Alstyne is out of surgery and awake. He’s asking for his wife. You can see him now, but go slow. He’s very weak.”

Clare hugged Margy and said “You sure you don’t want to go first?”

“He needs his wife right now, not his mother. I’ll be here. Go on, honey. He’s waiting for you.” Clare nodded and rushed off down the hallway towards his room.

She stopped at the door marked ‘Van Alstyne, R.’ and walked in. “Russ?”

He looked towards her. “Hey darlin’.” He looked so weak and vulnerable with an IV in his arm; she felt a tear escape from her eye as he reached for her.

“Oh, Russ. I was so worried that I was going to lose you.” Clare sat on the edge of his bed and leaned down to give him a kiss. She saw that his right shoulder was heavily bandaged and his arm was in a sling. “How’re you feeling?”

“I’ll be alright. Occupational hazard. I’m pretty damn sore where that round hit me on the chest. The doctor did an x-ray, and apparently it cracked a rib. And my shoulder hurts like a bitch. But, I promised I wouldn’t leave you, and I won’t.”

“I got really scared when Hadley told me you’d been shot in the chest.” She reached up and brushed some hair off his forehead. “Your mom’s here if you want to see her. She drove me.”

“Not right now. It’s you I need, not Mom.” They looked up as the door opened and a nurse walked in.

“You ready for your roommate?” Another bed was rolled in and they saw Kevin Flynn with his leg propped up.

“Chief.” Kevin sighed, wearily. “Officers down.”

“That we are, Flynn. That we are.”

 

Hadley Knox was running down the hallway looking for Kevin’s room after Clare came out and said she could see him. She finally found it and burst in, running over to kiss him. “Oh, Kevin. You’re alright!”

“Yeah, Hadley. I’m fine.” He pulled her down to his chest and they heard a cough from the next bed.

“Something you two want to tell me?” Hadley whipped her head around to look at their boss, blushing.

“Umm. Hi, Chief. How’re you doing?”

“I’ve been better. Now what’s going on with you two?”

Kevin cleared his throat trying to sound as professional as possible. “I’m in love with Officer Knox, Chief. I know you said no fraternization, so if I have to leave the force I will understand.”

“And Knox? What about you? Do you feel the same for Flynn?”

She looked slowly back to Kevin and took his hand in hers. “Yes, sir. I do. I realize that now.”

“Don’t let it interfere with your duty, and I’ll let it slide.” The two young lovers grinned. “Don’t make me regret this.”

“We won’t, sir.” Kevin lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it.

“Umm, Chief? Thank you for what you did. I owe you my life.” Hadley said shakily.

“Don’t mention it, Knox. We look out for each other. You’re both good cops, but you’ve still got a lot to learn.”

“Yes, sir.”

 

Clare came back a little later with his mother in tow. “I see Hadley’s left.”

“Yeah, she went back to the station to fill out the reports. The two guys who were shooting at us are in here as well. Of course, we’re not handcuffed to the bed like they are. And we’re in better shape.” Russ smirked up at his wife and looked over at his mother. “Hey, Mom.”

“Russell, I oughta whoop your tail for scaring Clare and me like that. You need to be more careful. You’ve got two children on the way to worry about now. You want them to go without a father and leave this wonderful woman you married to raise them all by herself?” Something told Clare he had heard this kind of lecture from his mother before, so she decided to play along.

“Yeah, honey. You don’t want to leave little R.J. alone with me and our other child do you?” Clare said teasingly.

“R.J.?” Russ looked at his wife incredulously.

“Russ Jr., of course!” She laughed at the look on his face. “Well, I can’t go around the house yelling ‘Russ! Look what you did!’ and have you both think I’m upset with you. Poor child’s going to have to have a nickname.”

“So, one of them is a boy?” Margy asked.

“We believe so. To be honest, I’m hoping for one of each. A little boy that Russ can teach to hunt and play ball. And a little girl who will have him wrapped around her little finger.” Russ grunted. She smiled down at him and ran her fingers through his hair. “Just think, honey. In five months, I’m going to be the one lying in this bed. And you’ll be the one taking care of me.”

“Clare, don’t you have church in a couple hours?” Russ suddenly realized.

“Yes, but there’s one thing I have to do before I leave.” She reached for her kit and pulled out the vial of Holy oil. “Russ, I lay my hands upon you in the Name of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, beseeching him to uphold you and fill you with his grace, that you may know the healing power of his love. Amen.”

“Amen.” Margy and Russ both echoed her as she dipped her thumb in the oil.

“Russ, I anoint you with oil in the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.” Clare drug her thumb over his forehead in the shape of a cross. She got up from his bed and walked over to Kevin Flynn. “Kevin, would you like me to pray with you?” He nodded and she repeated the prayers for the younger officer. “I’ll be back tomorrow to give Russ the Eucharist. Would you like to join us?”

“Sure, Reverend Clare. Thank you.”

“Anytime, Kevin.” She walked back over to her husband and gave him a kiss goodbye. “Margy, you can come and stay at the rectory with me tonight, if you like. We’ve got a guest room.”

“I think I’ll take you up on that offer. Sweetie, you get some rest and we’ll come back after church.”

“Bye, Mom.” He reached for his wife. “Clare. I love you, darlin’. I’m holding on.”

“I love you too, Russ. And I’m not letting go.” Russ drifted off to sleep shortly after they left.

 

_Wed, Nov 30, 2005_

Russ was sitting up reading the _Post-Star_ and Kevin was watching T.V. when Clare walked in. “How’re you two feeling?”

He folded up the paper and smiled at his wife. “Much better, darlin’. I should be out of here on Saturday. They just want to make sure there’s not going to be an infection. How was your doctor’s appointment?”

“Great. Everything’s fine.” She leaned down to kiss him. “We won’t do another ultrasound for a few weeks, but we’ll get to hear their heartbeats next week.”

“I’ll be there. I won’t be going back to full work for about a month. I have to go for therapy twice a week.” He looked over at Kevin. “Flynn will be out a little longer, though. You gotta get back up on that leg before you can come back to work.”

“Yes, sir. I have to go to occupational therapy as well. Looks like I’ll be laid up for a while.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Please review!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing related to the Clare Fergusson/Russ Van Alstyne series. Everything belongs to Julia Spencer-Fleming; I just play in her back yard because it's cool there. No profits will be gained by this work. All liturgy was taken from the Episcopal Book of Common Prayer © 1986, the 1982 Hymnal and the New Zealand Prayer Book. One real life character, used by permission. No copyright infringement intended.  
> A/N: Picks up directly following the end of OWaS. If you haven’t read that first, do not read. Rated M for sexual content. Russ/Clare, Kevin/Hadley, OC, RPF, mostly follows canon

_Sun, Dec 4, 2005_

Russ was sitting with the Ellis family again this Sunday. He was still pretty sore and had limited mobility in his right shoulder, but it was getting slowly better. He was popping Percocet like candy, but keeping the bottle in his truck. No need for Clare to see it. She was still struggling with getting over her addiction. ‘Out of sight, out of mind’ he figured. Not that he thought she would cheat and steal them; she wouldn’t do anything to risk losing their babies. He just thought that there was no need to shove it in her face. So they stayed in the truck.

“Go in peace to love and serve the Lord.”  
            “Thanks be to God!”

Hadley Knox found her way over to him as he stood up to leave with the rest of the congregation. “Hey, Chief. How’re you feeling?”

“A lot better, thank you Knox. How’s Flynn coming along?”

“Slow moving. He walked down the hall yesterday but was in pain the whole way. I think he’s just trying to show me that he can. At least you’re being cautious, Chief,” she said nodding at the sling around his neck.

“Flynn’s young. He’ll bounce back in no time. This old man, though… I haven’t forgotten the five months of rehab I went through last time. Better safe than sorry.”

“True. Well, I’ll see you later, Chief. I gotta get Hudson and Geneva home and fed before my shift.” She rounded up her kids and joined the line to leave.

Russ turned around, walked up to the altar rail, and knelt down. He stayed there for several minutes before realizing he didn’t know how to pray. He was just about to get up when his wife joined him. “You alright, Russ?”

“Yeah.” He bowed his head and sighed. “I dunno, Clare.”

“What’s wrong?”

“How do you… you know…”

“Pray?” He nodded and she laid her hand on his back. “It’s a little daunting isn’t it? Like, ‘how do I talk to someone I can’t even see or hear?’ You just talk to him, Russ. Like you would a friend. It doesn’t have to be perfect. It doesn’t have to be like the prayers we say during a service. It’s not all begging and pleading and asking for things.” She took his hand. “Why don’t we pray together?”

“Here? Now?”

“Sure.” She bowed her head and leaned against her husband. “Lord, here we are. I want to thank you for all the blessings you’ve sent me. A wonderful husband, two kids on the way, this church, and for Russ’ continued recovery.” She squeezed his hand gently.

“What do I say?”

“Whatever you feel like. What do you want to tell Him?”

“Yeah, okay. Thank you for bringing Clare to Miller’s Kill and into my life. For Mom’s health. For my kids. For Janet and Mike. And, umm… Keeping the force safe.” He looked up at Clare. “Can I ask for something?”

She smiled. “Sure.”

“Okay. Umm, God. Teach me to be a good father. I know how to be a husband, because Clare’s taught me that. And I know how to be a cop. But I don’t know how to be a father. I’m so scared that I’ll screw up and do something wrong. Just please help me.”

“And teach me to be a good mother. I’m scared, Lord. I can be a wife, a priest, and a soldier, but a mother? I’m scared of the same thing Russ is. That I’ll mess up. Show us both the way to raise these children you have so graciously given us. I know they are coming for a reason, and that you will raise them up to fulfill whatever that purpose may be. Walk with us and show us the way in which to go.” She squeezed his hand again and said, “In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen.”

“Amen.” They got up and walked down the hall and into the office.

“Russ, I’ve been thinking. We’ve got a confirmation class coming up and I think you should go.”

“A what kind of class?”

“Confirmation. Your mom told me you’d been baptized as a child. If you go through the class and get confirmed, you will become a member of the church. I’ll be the one teaching the class but basically you learn all about the church and then at the end, you reconfirm your baptismal covenant and get blessed by the bishop.”

“Baptismal covenant?”

“It’s all in the Prayer Book, but essentially you’re getting up in front of the church and saying ‘Yes, I believe.’ That’s all.” She removed her chasuble and stole, putting them on a hanger in her office.

“If I do it, I’m _not_ joining the vestry. I’ve had enough of Geoff Burns and that Sterling Sumner to last me a lifetime.”

Clare giggled. “You don’t have to. However, I’m hoping you will get at least a little involved. Maybe be an usher or something.” She sat on the edge of her desk and pulled him towards her. “This is the church where we’ll be raising our children, after all.”

“You know, it’s so amazing hearing you say that. _Our children_. God, I never thought I would be a father. And you’re giving me that. Thank you, love.”

“Don’t thank me yet. We’ve still got almost five months to go.”

 

_Fri, Dec 23, 2005_

“Mother! Daddy! I’m so glad you’re here.” Clare met her parents at the front door of the rectory.

“Clare, sweetheart! Oh my goodness, you are positively glowing!” Mrs. Fergusson exclaimed.

“Merry Christmas, Mother.” She gave her mother a hug. “Hi, Daddy.”

“Hello, pumpkin.” Clare gave her father a kiss on the cheek. “Where’s that husband of yours?”

“Oh, Russ had to go to the station. He’s been really anxious to get back to work. He’ll be home for supper, though. Brian’s not getting in until tomorrow. Come on inside. I’ve got the guest room all set up for you.”

 

“So, Russell. How’s everything going with the department?” Clare’s father asked at dinner.

“It’s going well. We don’t have any open cases right now, thank goodness. We’ve had a few accidents due to the icy roads and some drunk drivers, but nothing major. I’m hoping it stays quiet.”

“How’s your shoulder?”

“It’s a lot better. I still have some pain from time to time but it’s not bad. Flynn’s still going to rehab, but he’ll be back in a few weeks. Just in time, too. I’m planning on taking Clare down to The Sagamore in Lake George for a couple days.”

“Oh, Russ! That will be wonderful. Thank you.” Clare leaned over to kiss him.

“We need the time away.”

“I’m sure I will after all the Christmas services.” She sighed. “I’m always so busy this time of year. It will be nice to get a chance to relax.”

 

_Sun, Dec 25 th, 2005_

“Merry Christmas, Russell.” Russ leaned down to give Margy a kiss on the cheek.

“Merry Christmas, Mom. You remember Clare’s parents and her brother, Brian.”

“Of course. Merry Christmas everyone. Come on in. Janet, Mike, and the kids are already here. I’m so glad you all could join us for the holidays.”

“Thank you for inviting us, Margy. Is there anything I can do?” Mrs. Fergusson gave her a hug.

“Not a thing. Let’s get the men to bring everything in from the car, and we’ll go have a cup of tea. Lunch should be ready in about an hour.”

            The women were settled in around the kitchen table when Clare felt the babies move for the first time. Her hand flew to her stomach. “Russ! Come quick!” she yelled.

He ran into the kitchen, with Brian right behind him. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?” He looked at her worriedly.

She smiled. “I’m fine! Come here and give me your hand.” She laid his hand on her stomach and felt them kick against his hand. His face softened and he looked into her eyes.

“Oh, darlin’. They’re kicking?” She nodded, her eyes shining with unshed tears. “That’s incredible.” He fell to his knees in front of her, and kissed her growing belly. “Hey there, little ones. It’s Daddy. Daddy’s here.” Russ looked back up at Clare. “This is the best Christmas present you could have ever given me. Thank you, love.”

 

_Thurs, Dec 29 th, 2005_

“Good morning, Clare. Russ. How are you today?” Anne shook Russ’s hand and gave her friend a hug.

“Wonderful. We felt them kick for the first time on Christmas day. Oh, Anne. It was amazing. It was like their little Christmas gift to us.”

“That’s so sweet.”

“Anne, are we going to find out their genders today?” Russ was getting so excited now that it felt real. Feeling his children kicking him had made it more of a reality.

“You sure are. As long as they are willing to cooperate and not hide anything from us,” she laughed. “Why don’t you lie back, Clare, and we’ll fire up the baby finder? Russ, you want to come closer so you can see?”

“Absolutely.” He took Clare’s hand and kissed her forehead.

“Well, it looks like baby B is actually going to cooperate with us this time.” She moved around trying to get the best position. “Alright. Clare, look right here. Baby B looks like a little girl. And let’s double check baby A.” More maneuvering. “It seems I was correct. Baby A is a little boy.” Anne smiled at the couple. “One of each. Congratulations, you guys.” She printed them some pictures marking them with Baby Boy and Baby Girl Van Alstyne instead of the previous A and B. “Any thoughts on names yet?”

“Yes, but it’s going to be a surprise. I had always wanted one of each, so this is a dream come true. I just never imagined having them both at once.” Clare said, as Russ helped her down off the table. “Who knew he’d be so potent?” She leaned closer to her friend and whispered, “I thought their sperm count was supposed to go down with age.” They both started laughing hysterically.

“Hey, no teasing. I’m just as potent as the next guy.” They started laughing harder.

“Of course you are, Russ.” Clare laughed as she led him from the room. “My big, strong, macho husband. Of course you are.”

 

_Wed, Jan 11 th, 2006_

Russ pulled the truck up in front of The Sagamore, but this time when the valet asked if they were checking in, he said yes before handing off the keys. They walked up to the desk, and Clare looked around as Russ checked them in.

“Checking in, sir?”

“Yes. Reservation under Russell Van Alstyne.”

“Ah, yes. You have a lake view king suite with a His and Hers package. Two nights. Is that correct?” Russ nodded. “Alright. You’ll be in room 413. Elevators are down the hall and to the left. And you have your appointment this afternoon at 5.”

“Appointment?” Clare looked at Russ, confused.

“It’s a surprise. Don’t worry. You’ll love it.”

They walked up to their room and Russ put away their bags while Clare walked out to the balcony. “Oh, Russ this is so romantic. Ever since I’ve moved up to New York, I’ve never really had a chance to appreciate the snow as being beautiful.” He came up behind her and slipped his arms around her growing belly.

“It is, isn’t it? I never really think about it anymore. Guess I’ve just gotten so used to seeing snow for so long.” He leaned down and kissed along her neck. “Clare, would you like to join me in the bedroom?”

She turned in his arms and looked up at him, smiling. “Of course.” She squeaked, surprised, when he picked her up, bridal style, and carried her back inside. He set her down for a moment before helping her out of her clothes. He ripped his off a lot more quickly. However, he still didn’t want to rush this.

“Oh, Clare. I want to make love to you.” He kissed her, leading her back to the bed which had been turned down for them. “Show you how much I love you. How beautiful you are.”

“Yes, Russ. Please… I want you.” Clare lay down on the bed and he moved in behind her.

 

Clare woke up about an hour later with Russ still wrapped around her. She sighed and took his hand, interlacing their fingers. He squeezed her hand and kissed her neck. “Hey there, love. You ready to go get a massage?”

She smiled sweetly and rolled over to face him. “I think you already massaged all the right spots. Of course, if you’re ready for round two…” She grinned.

Russ chuckled and kissed her deeply. “I swear you really are a sex fiend. No, I booked us a couple’s massage before dinner.”

“You should be happy. I’m complimenting your abilities in bed. But how on earth can I get a massage? I can’t exactly lie on the table.”

“Don’t worry love. They have a pregnancy massage. Not sure how it works, but I went ahead and booked that for you. I hope that’s okay?”

“It is. Thank you, honey. That’s really sweet.” As it turned out, she could get a massage quite easily, so long as she lay on her side and held a bunch of pillows. She got up at the end of the massage feeling more relaxed than she had in a long time. They went to dinner in the resort’s restaurant and took a romantic walk down to the boat landing, hand in hand. If this was the way their vacation was going to be, all sex and massages and romance, she may never want to leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Please review!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing related to the Clare Fergusson/Russ Van Alstyne series. Everything belongs to Julia Spencer-Fleming; I just play in her back yard because it's cool there. No profits will be gained by this work. All liturgy was taken from the Episcopal Book of Common Prayer © 1986, the 1982 Hymnal and the New Zealand Prayer Book. One real life character, used by permission. No copyright infringement intended.  
> A/N: Picks up directly following the end of OWaS. If you haven’t read that first, do not read. Rated M for sexual content. Russ/Clare, Kevin/Hadley, OC, RPF, mostly follows canon

_Sun, Feb 19 th, 2006_

Clare had some light cramps when she got up and throughout the 7:30 service, but tried to ignore it. She was hoping she could at least make it through the 10 o’clock service, and go lie down. Maybe take a nap with her husband. However, as she walked down the aisle to read the Gospel, it started getting worse.

“The Holy Gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ according to Mark,” she said shakily.

“Glory to you, Lord Christ.”

“Six days later, Jesus took with him Peter and James and John, and led them up a high mountain apart, by themselves.” Clare paused, trying to ignore the pain. “And he was transfigured before them, and his clothes became dazzling white, such as no one on earth could bleach them.” She took a deep breath and tried to focus on the gospel book that the acolyte was holding for her.

Russ watched her carefully. Something was wrong.

“And there appeared to them Elijah with Moses, who were talking with Jesus. Then Peter said to Jesus, ‘Rabbi, it is good for us to be here; let us make three dwellings, one for you, one for Moses, and one for Elijah.’ He did not know what to say, for they were terrified. Then a cloud overshadowed them…” She stopped again and gripped the closest pew, holding her stomach. Russ stepped out of his pew and was at her side immediately.

“Clare? Darlin’?” The entire church was watching with bated breath.

“Russ… I think I’m going into labor,” she said quietly, gripping his arm and cringing against the pain.

“What? Oh my God! She’s going into labor!” He scooped her up in his arms and ran out the door with Dr. Anne right behind him. The entire congregation was shocked and silent for a moment before they all ran outside to see them putting her in his truck and driving away.

 

“Clare. I need you to stay calm and breathe with me, okay? We’re going to the hospital.” Clare nodded, breathing heavily. Anne was holding her hand and trying to keep her as calm as possible.

She looked up at Russ who was speeding down Elm Street. “Anne, can you call the hospital and tell them we’re on the way?” He flipped on his red-and-whites and sped through the next light. They pulled up at the hospital less than ten minutes later, and were met at the door by a nurse with a wheelchair. “She’s only at 25 weeks. Oh, God. Anne, will the babies be okay?”

“If this is pre-term labor…” Anne sighed, frowning. “Some make it. Some don’t. All we can do is pray and hope for the best.” She squeezed his arm and followed Clare into her room.

Russ paced up and down the hallway outside her room while Anne was in with her. _‘Okay, God. I’m still learning about this whole praying thing. Well, here goes. God, please save my children. And let Clare be okay. She can’t lose these children. She loves them so much already. And… I do too. Please, let them be okay. Please, God. Please. I’ll do anything…’_

“Russ.” Anne stepped out into the hallway and closed the door behind her. “Clare’s fine. It turns out it was just some unusually strong Braxton Hicks contractions. It’s very common for women over 35, especially when carrying multiples. The babies are okay, but I’m placing her on bed rest when she goes home tomorrow. She’s going to need to stay in bed at least 90 percent of the time, either reclining or laying down, preferably on her left side. She can get up and take a shower, go to the bathroom. Stuff like that. But she needs to stay off her feet. The only time she can be up for an extended period is for our appointments, which I’m upping to twice a week, so no more conducting services. Oh, and no more sex. I’ve already explained it all to her. She’d like to see you.”

Russ slipped around her and burst in the room, running to his wife’s bedside. They had gotten her out of her vestments and into a hospital gown. “Clare, my love. I was so scared.”

“Oh, Russ… I was too. I can’t lose these babies. I already love them so much.” She grabbed onto him, fighting the urge to cry. “Please, just hold me.”

He slid onto the edge of her bed and pulled her into his arms. “C’mere. You’re okay, darlin’. I’m here. I’ll stay with you tonight and take you home tomorrow. I’m holding on. Not letting go.” He kissed the top of her head and held her as she cried, rocking her until she fell asleep.

 

_Tues, Feb 28 th, 2006_

Russ decided to venture off to the electronics store at the end of his shift. Clare was going to need something to do while she was on bed rest, and he figured he’d nip the boredom in the bud. She was already getting antsy. “Anything I can help you with, sir?”

“Umm. Yeah, I’m looking for a laptop computer for my wife. Something that can get on the internet. I’m not great with this kind of stuff, sorry.”

“Quite alright, sir. I would recommend this HP Pavilion. It just came out last year…” Russ barely listened to what the salesman was saying but it looked decent and the price wasn’t bad in comparison to the other ones he saw on the shelf.

“I’ll take it. And what all do I need to get it set up for her?” Twenty minutes later, he was driving home with the laptop, a printer, a wireless router, and a laptop desk in his truck. “Clare, darlin’! I’m home.” He walked upstairs and into their bedroom, where she was sitting up in bed, reading.

She put down her book and reached out to him. “Oh, Russ. I missed you so much today.”

He sat down on the bed and kissed her lightly. “I missed you too. And I got you something.” He handed her the box and she looked at him curiously. “It’s a laptop. To keep you from getting bored up here all day. And I’m going to get internet hooked up so you can do some shopping for the babies.”

She reached up and cupped his cheek, pulling him down for another kiss. “A computer! Thank you, honey. That’s so sweet.”

He put the box back on the floor and pulled her feet up into his lap, massaging them. “Anything I can do for you, darlin’?”

“Exactly what you’re doing is great. Ah, that feels good.” She leaned her head back and closed her eyes. “You know, I could kill for some Chinese food. Will you order some for dinner?”

Russ wanted to groan but restrained the urge. Her cravings were all over the place. “Of course. What do you want?” Just then, they heard the doorbell from downstairs. “Hold that thought. I’ll be right back.” He got up and walked downstairs to answer the door.

  1. “Hurry back.”                   



Russ opened the door to see a tall, young guy, right around Clare’s age, in a clerical collar. “Hello. May I help you?”

“Hello sir, my name’s Drew Baker. I’m looking for Clare Fergusson. Is she home?”

Russ glanced back into the rectory towards the stairs. “I’m sorry, umm, Father. She’s unavailable at the moment. Can I give her a message?”

Just then Clare yelled down the stairs. “Who is it, Russ?”

Drew looked at Russ. “Sir, I’m sorry to intrude, but I was sent by Bishop Herzog to take over at St. Alban’s while she’s out on leave. I just wanted to introduce myself and get to know the current rector.”

Russ was shocked. “Oh, I just figured her deacon would take over. Come in. I’ll let her know you’re here and see if you can come up. She’s on bed rest.” He walked up the stairs to their bedroom. “Uh, Clare. There’s some priest downstairs, saying he was sent by your Bishop.”

“Oh! I completely forgot he was coming today. Can I go downstairs? Please, Russ…” She pouted at him, hoping he’d give in.

“Well, alright. Here, I’ll help you. But you have to lie down on the couch.”

“Sir, yes, sir.” She threw an arm around his neck as they went downstairs and he helped her lie down on the couch, making sure she had pillows to prop herself up with. She looked up at the other man. “Hi, I’m Clare. And you’ve already met my husband, Russ. You must be Drew.” They shook hands.

“Yes. It’s nice to meet you both.” He shook Russ’s hand as well.

“Sorry about this. Have a seat. I had some Braxton Hicks contractions during a service a couple weeks ago, and my doctor put me on bed rest. You know, you’ve got a bit of a southern accent. Where are you from?” Clare asked. Russ sat down on the other end of the couch and pulled her feet up into his lap again.

Drew sat down in an armchair nearby. “Originally from upstate Virginia. I went through medical school at the Medical College of Virginia and did my residency at the Medical University of South Carolina. I got my call to the priesthood later on. But I’ve been doing pediatrics and working at a church in Asheville, North Carolina for a while now.”

“No kidding? I’m a Virginia girl, myself. Petersburg. My parents still own an airplane hangar and shop there. I was in the Army as a pilot for several years before going to seminary.”

“Wow. Small world. So what about you, Russ? What do you do for a living?”

“Miller’s Kill Chief of police.” Russ said, leaning back. “I’ve been heading up the force since I got back from the Army about twelve years ago.”

“Wow. How long have you two been married?”

“Just since October. We’re expecting twins in late April.”

“Really? You know, if I decide to stay around, I’m going to need some patients. Are there a lot of families with children around here?”

“A few. Just at St. Alban’s, you’ve got the Burns family, Hadley and her two kids, and now us. Most of the church has teenagers or kids in college. I’ve been trying to start up a program to help young, unwed mothers. But…” she sighed. “The vestry won’t go for it.”

“Hmm. I’ll have to see how I like the area. Is Miller’s Kill a safe town, Russ?”

“I try my best to keep it that way,” Russ grunted.

“Well. I’m going to need to find a hotel to stay at until I can get a place of my own. Any recommendations?”

“Try the Stuyvesant,” Clare said. “Ron and Steve may have a room. You can use our house phone. Fair warning, cell phones are pretty much useless up here in the mountains.”

Russ handed the phone to Drew and gave him the number. Drew called and talked to Ron, who said something to make his face fall. “Alright. Well, thank you anyways, Ron.” He hung up. “They said they’re sold out. He told me to try someplace called Algonquin Waters.”

Russ nearly growled, and Clare put her hand on his arm to calm him. “No, no, no. Russ, why doesn’t he just stay here? I mean, we’ve got the room. And it will be the most convenient for him, what with Lent starting tomorrow.” Russ tried to object but knew the battle was lost, just looking into her eyes. He sighed and nodded. “Great! Drew, you are more than welcome to stay here until you find a place. The guest room is straight up the stairs at the end of the hall.”

“Thank you so much. I really appreciate this.”

“Not a problem. We’re glad to have you, Drew.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Please review!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing related to the Clare Fergusson/Russ Van Alstyne series. Everything belongs to Julia Spencer-Fleming; I just play in her back yard because it's cool there. No profits will be gained by this work. All liturgy was taken from the Episcopal Book of Common Prayer © 1986, the 1982 Hymnal and the New Zealand Prayer Book. One real life character, used by permission. No copyright infringement intended.  
> A/N: Picks up directly following the end of OWaS. If you haven’t read that first, do not read. Rated M for sexual content. Russ/Clare, Kevin/Hadley, OC, RPF, mostly follows canon

_Thurs, Mar 2 nd, 2006_

“Hey, Drew?” Clare called from her bed. It was about 10pm and Russ was working the late shift.

He walked down the hall and poked his head in the door. “Yeah? Everything alright?”

“Everything’s fine. Russ is working late, and I was wondering if you’d like to join me for Compline?”

“Absolutely. My favorite service. Just let me go grab my prayer book.” Clare reached for hers on the bedside table while he was gone.

When Russ came home, he found his wife and Drew praying together. He stood in the doorway of the master bedroom, listening. “Keep watch, dear Lord, with those who work, or watch, or weep this night, and give your angels charge over those who sleep. Tend the sick, Lord Christ; give rest to the weary, bless the dying, soothe the suffering, pity the afflicted, shield the joyous; and all for your love’s sake. Amen.”

“Amen,” Russ echoed them from the door. Clare looked up suddenly and smiled at him. He sat on the bed next to her and she moved the prayer book over so he could see.

“You can join us. We’re almost done.” Clare leaned over and kissed his cheek.

“Thanks.” He put his arm around her shoulders and she cuddled up next to him.

“Guide us waking, O Lord, and guard us sleeping; that awake we may watch with Christ, and asleep we may rest in peace. Lord, you now have set your servant free to go in peace as you have promised; For these eyes of mine have seen the Savior, whom you have prepared for all the world to see; A light to enlighten the nations, and the glory of your people Israel. Glory to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit; as it was in the beginning, is now, and will be forever. Amen.”

They repeated the Antiphon and Clare said, “Let us bless the Lord.”

“Thanks be to God.”

“The almighty and merciful Lord, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, bless us and keep us. Amen.” Clare closed her prayer book and leaned into her husband.

Drew flipped to the front of his prayer book and read aloud, “Lord, it is night. The night is for stillness. Let us be still in the presence of God.” He paused for a moment before continuing. “It is night after a long day. What has been done has been done. What has not been done has not been done. Let it be. The night is dark. Let our fears of the darkness of the world and our own lives rest in you. The night is quiet. Let the quietness of your peace enfold us, all those dear to us, and all who have no peace. The night heralds the dawn. Let us look expectantly to a new day.”

“Amen. That was beautiful, Drew. Where’d you find that?”

“Oh, it’s from the New Zealand prayer book. I’ve always loved it.” He stood up. “I’m going to head to bed. Thanks for inviting me to do Compline with you, Clare.”

“Anytime. Have a good night.”

“You too. Goodnight.” He left, closing the door behind him.

“So, how was work, honey?”

“Not too bad. I was out on patrol, but it was pretty quiet. Just a couple speeding tickets. Nothing major.” Russ sat up and stretched. “Let me get cleaned up and I’ll join you for bed.”

“Okay, honey.”

When he got out of the shower, she put her book away and pulled back the covers for him. He slipped into bed and she curled up next to him, draping her arm across his chest. He pulled her close and kissed her hair. She smiled up at him and pulled his hand down to her stomach. “They’re kicking again?”

“Yeah. You know, the baby book said that if we talk to them a lot, they’ll recognize our voices after they’re born.”

“Really? Haven’t heard that one before. Alright.” He put his large hands on her stomach, and felt his children pushing against them. “Hey there, little ones. It’s Daddy.” He looked up at Clare. “Do you know which one is the boy and which is the girl?”

“The one on this side is the boy.” She moved his hand to the right side of her stomach. “He’s been playing soccer with my bladder. And she’s been punching me in the ribs all day long.”

Russ laughed. “Alright, kids. Stop torturing your poor mother. Son, I’ll teach you to play ball when you’re older. And you, my little princess. Be good for Momma. Momma and Daddy love you both very much. And we can’t wait to meet you.” He rubbed his hand over her stomach, and felt his daughter kick his hand. “Does it hurt when they do that?”

“Sometimes. It’s more uncomfortable than painful. I’ve gotten pretty used to it, though. They’re constantly moving nowadays.” She smiled at him and ran a hand through his hair. “You are going to be a wonderful father. I see the way your face lights up when you feel them moving. The way you’re talking to them. It’s really sweet.” She pulled him towards her for a kiss and laid her head on his chest. “I love you so much, Russ.”

“Love you too, Clare.” He put his arms around her and held her until they fell asleep.

 

_Sat, Mar 11 th, 2006     3 am_

Russ parked his truck in the driveway behind Clare’s Jeep and walked in the rectory, completely drained. The Friday night shift was always busy. Two arrests out at the Dew Drop Inn, and a drunk driver causing a three car pile-up. At least everyone was okay. He took off his uniform and slid into bed, wrapping his arms around his wife.

Clare felt him slide in behind her, still half asleep. “Russ?”

“Yeah, love. It’s me. Go back to sleep.” He kissed her shoulder and buried his face in her neck.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I just need you. It was a long night.”

She rolled over to face him, looking in his eyes. “You sure you’re alright?”

Russ pulled her into a deep kiss. “God, I wish I could make love to you right now. I just need…” He sighed.

She smiled sadly. “I know.” She cupped his cheek and pulled him down for another kiss. “I’m sorry, baby.”

 

_Tues, Mar 14 th, 2006_

Clare was doing some shopping for their babies, now that Russ had gotten the internet all set up for her. “Hey, Russ. Look at these little onesies. They’re adorable!”

He glanced over at the computer, seeing a little baby outfit with handcuffs stating ‘My Daddy can arrest your Daddy!’ and he chuckled. “Get it. Any others you like?”

“Yeah, look at these.” She scrolled down and he saw ‘My Dad is the Chief, but I’m the BOSS!’ and ‘My Daddy is a policeman, and I’m his princess.’

He laughed. “Any on there for you?”

“Yup. There’s one that says ‘Episcopal chick’ and I love this one. ‘Everything I do seems to wind up in a sermon.’”

“That’s great. I bet your deacon will love seeing the twins in those. Have you figured out how you want to do the nursery?”

“I think I want to do VeggieTales.”

“Veggie what?”

“VeggieTales. They’re singing vegetables that tell Bible stories and teach about values.”

“Singing vegetables. Right…”

She clicked on another page. “See? Look at this rug. It would be perfect.” He saw a large rug with the words, ‘God made you special!’ and a bunch of vegetables including peas and a carrot with pigtails.

He chuckled again. “It’s cute, honey.”

“See, here’s Bob and Larry. Junior, Laura, and the French Peas. And they’ve got blankets and pillows and even bedding.” She glanced over at him. “Hey, stop laughing!”

“I’m sorry, love. Alright, VeggieTales it is.”

“Knock, knock.”

“Come in!” Russ called.

Drew poked his head in. “Hey there. I just wanted to let you know I signed a lease today and will be out of here tomorrow. I really appreciate you having me here.”

“Of course, Drew. It’s been wonderful having you. We will definitely miss you when you’re gone.”

“Well, I’m not really leaving. I’ve decided I’ll stay in Millers Kill when you come back and work as a pediatrician at the clinic until I can get my own practice started. And I can supply at St. Alban’s whenever you need it.”

“Oh, that’s wonderful! I guess you’ve got your first two patients right here.” Clare laughed.

“I’m certainly hoping so. Well, have a good night.”

“Goodnight, Drew.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Please review!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing related to the Clare Fergusson/Russ Van Alstyne series. Everything belongs to Julia Spencer-Fleming; I just play in her back yard because it's cool there. No profits will be gained by this work. All liturgy was taken from the Episcopal Book of Common Prayer © 1986, the 1982 Hymnal and the New Zealand Prayer Book. One real life character, used by permission. No copyright infringement intended.  
> A/N: Picks up directly following the end of OWaS. If you haven’t read that first, do not read. Rated M for sexual content. Russ/Clare, Kevin/Hadley, OC, RPF, mostly follows canon

_Sat, Mar 25 th, 2006_

Clare was lying in bed, reading, when she heard a crash from downstairs, followed by her husband swearing. “Russ? You alright?”

“Yeah, darlin’! I’m fine.” He walked upstairs to reassure her, knowing she’d be out of her mind with worry. Especially since she couldn’t get out of bed. “Sorry. Just dropped my toolbox.”

“What on earth are you doing?”

“I’m putting together the stuff for the nursery.”

“Well, be careful. I don’t need to be putting you back together too.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll be more careful.” He kissed her and walked down the hall to the nursery. He set his toolbox down, grabbed the box for the first crib, and ripped it open. _‘Alright. Where are the instructions? Oh, well. I don’t need them.’_

“Russ? Please use the instructions!”

“Yes, honey,” he chuckled. His wife knew him so well. Russ found the instructions and sat down to read them. He got up several minutes later and wandered back down the hall. “Clare? What kind of crib is this?”

“I got transitional cribs. They’ll change as they grow up.” She took the instructions from him. “See? It goes from a regular crib to a toddler bed. And then to a day bed. Once they’re older, it will be a headboard for a double bed. It will save us money in the long run, because we won’t have to keep buying new furniture.”

“I guess that makes sense.” He glanced at the clock. “What time is your baby shower?”

“They should start getting here any minute, actually. Will you help me get downstairs?”

“Absolutely. And then I’ll stay up in the nursery so all those church ladies can fawn over you.”

“It’s not just the ECW, Russ. Your mom’s coming. And your sister.”

“Even more reason for me to stay out of the way.”

She smacked him playfully on the arm. “Be nice. But I guess that would be a bit too much estrogen in one place for you, huh?”

“You bet. Mike can come help me in the nursery. Come on. Let’s get you down to the couch.” As soon as he had her settled in, the doorbell rang and he opened the door for his mother. “Hi Mom.” He leaned down to give her a hug.

“Hi sweetie.” She kissed him on the cheek. “And where’s my favorite daughter-in-law?”

“I’m your only daughter-in-law, Margy.” Clare gave her a hug as well.

“Still my favorite. Janet and Mike are outside getting the stuff out of the car. Russ, can you go help them?”

“What on earth did they bring that they need help with?” Russ walked outside.

Margy sat down and smiled at Clare. “So, who all’s coming?”

“Well, other than you and Janet, let’s see... My secretary, Lois, said she’d drop by. Karen Burns and some other ladies from the church. Anne, my doctor. I think Hadley may come. She’s one of Russ’s officers. Oh, and Harlene, if she can get away from the station.”

Russ and Mike came in through the door, carrying several large boxes in wrapping paper. “Let’s just set them down right here. That way she can reach them easily.” They walked back out to get another load.

“Goodness gracious. What on earth? Margy? You didn’t have to do all this!”

“Well, some is from me. And some is from Janet and Mike. But you can use all of it. Trust me.” Margy smiled. “Anything I can get you, Clare?”

“Not a thing. Did you bring the snacks for everyone?”

“Everything’s taken care of. Hey, Clare.” Janet came in the door, laden with grocery bags.

“Hey, Janet. I feel so bad, just lying here while ya’ll do all the work!” Russ and Mike walked back in with more boxes and set them down with the others.

“Don’t feel bad. Today is all about you and those babies. So relax and enjoy it!” Janet walked into the kitchen to start setting up the food.

“Clare, Mike and I are going upstairs to work on the nursery. We’ll leave you to it.” Russ leaned down and kissed her. “Love you, darlin’. Have fun.”

“Love you too, Russ.”

 

“Mike, can you pass me the drill? Thanks.” They heard a bunch of giggling from downstairs. “Just what is it that makes them so excited about this stuff?”

“I don’t know, man. You should have seen Janet at the store. She wanted to buy everything we saw.”

“Well, we’ve already got the cribs and the changing table. Clare’s been ordering a lot of stuff online. I swear we get a new delivery every day.”

“Get used to it. Janet went crazy both times in the month or so before she delivered our kids. She had to clean everything and make sure everything was perfect. I’d never want to do it again. That’s for sure.”

Russ grunted. “Thanks for the reassurance.”

“No problem,” Mike laughed. “Alright, so the cribs are done. You want to get them moved into place?”

“Yeah. Let’s put them up against that far wall. Side by side, you think?”

“Probably. Of course, your wife will probably change it later.”

“Wouldn’t surprise me.” They moved them over and put the mattresses in. “You want something to drink?”

“Sure.” Russ walked downstairs, but stopped abruptly at the bottom.

“What the…?” It was like there had been a Babies “Я” Us explosion in their living room. He could see diapers, bottles, clothes, and anything else a baby could need. And there were pink and blue balloons all over the place. All the women turned to look at him, giggling. “I’m just… gonna go… get a drink. Don’t mind me.” He skirted around everyone, grabbed a couple sodas, and nearly ran back upstairs.

“What’s wrong, man?” Mike took the Coke® that Russ offered him.

“Whatever you do, don’t go downstairs. Way too many women giggling in one place.”

Mike laughed. “Alright. Well, what do you say we start on the changing table?”

“Yeah. Sounds good.”

 

Russ and Mike walked back downstairs once everything seemed to have quieted down. “Is it safe? Can we come in?”

“Oh, Russ. Come look at all this stuff!” Clare beamed up at him from where she lay on the sofa.

“It looks like we won’t have to buy diapers for a really long time.”

Margy laughed. “Sure, sweetie. You just keep on thinking that. They’ll go through that in no time. Expect to use at least 6 diapers a day for each of them.”

“You’re kidding, right?”

“Nope. Babies are pooping machines. You might as well buy stock in Pampers.”

“Thanks, Mom.” Russ rolled his eyes and plopped down on the couch, pulling Clare’s feet up into his lap. “So what all did you get?”

“Well, we got a jogging stroller from the ECW. They all went in together. I can’t wait to use it. It feels like it’s been forever since I’ve been able to go for a run. And we got these two adorable bouncers…”

Russ sat back and listened as she told him all the stuff they got, just smiling at her. This was the happiest she had looked in quite a while.

 

_Tues, Apr 4 th, 2006_

The bedside phone rang. Clare leaned over and picked it up. “Hello? This is she… Oh, thank you very much. I’ll have my husband come pick them up later. Russell Van Alstyne. Yes. What time do you close? Okay. Thanks again.” She hung up. “Russ?”

Russ poked his head out of the bathroom, where he was getting ready for work. “Yeah, love?”

“That was the Toys “Я” Us in Queensbury. They got our order in. Will you go pick it up later?”

“Sure, but it will have to be after I get off work. What time did they say they close?”

“Not till 9. You might want to take your truck.”

“How much stuff am I picking up?” She just smiled at him. _‘Oh, boy…’_

 

Russ pulled up outside the toy store at 7:30, still in uniform. _‘I haven’t been in a toy store in years. Guess I better get used to it. I’m probably going to be coming here a lot in the future.’_ He jumped out of his truck and walked inside. Before long, he was wandering the aisles, just reliving his childhood. _‘Mr. Potato Head, Army men, Lincoln Logs. God, I use to have a lot of this stuff.’_ He walked back up front to Customer Service.

“Can I help you, officer?”

“Yeah. I’m picking up some stuff my wife had ordered. Clare Fergusson.”

The sales clerk grabbed a sheet lying on the counter. “Oh, yeah. Mr. Van Alstyne. Sign right here, please.” Russ looked over the sheet before signing.

“She got all this?” He signed, shaking his head.

“Yes sir. I’ll have someone help you load everything up. Hey, John! Can you get the Fergusson order?”

They got everything loaded up in the truck and Russ drove back to Miller’s Kill. He walked into the rectory, dragging a large box. “Clare! I’m home! I certainly hope this is everything.” He could hear her laughing at him from upstairs.

_Sun, Apr 16 th, 2006_

Russ was reading the paper at the kitchen table when the doorbell rang. “Drew! Come on in.”

“Happy Easter, Russ. I figured I’d drop by to give Clare the Eucharist.” He held up a wooden box.

“Happy Easter. She will greatly appreciate that. I know she has been wanting to go to church really bad. Come on upstairs.” They walked up to the bedroom and he sat down on the bed. “Clare. Wake up, darlin’. You’ve got a visitor.”

“Hmm?” She sat up and stretched. “Oh, Drew! Happy Easter!”

“Happy Easter. Since you couldn’t come to church this morning, I brought it to you.”

“Oh, thank you so much.” She reached into the bedside table and grabbed her prayer book. “Russ, will you join us?”

“Sure, love.” He scooted back up to the headboard and put his arm around her.

Drew smiled and opened his prayer book. “Alleluia. Christ is risen.”

“The Lord is risen indeed. Alleluia.”

“Jesus said, “I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst. Let us pray.” They bowed their heads, and Clare took Russ’ hand. “Almighty Father, whose dear Son, on the night before he suffered, instituted the Sacrament of his Body and Blood: Mercifully grant that we may receive it thankfully in remembrance of Jesus Christ our Lord, who in these holy mysteries gives us a pledge of eternal life; and who lives and reigns forever and ever. Amen.”

“Amen.”

They said the Confessional and the Lord’s Prayer. Drew opened his traveling kit and pulled out the bread and wine. “The Gifts of God for the People of God. Take them in remembrance that Christ died for you, and feed on him in your hearts by faith, with thanksgiving.” He stood up and walked over to the bed. “Clare, the Body of our Lord Jesus Christ keep you in everlasting life.” She took the wafer, holding it as he turned to Russ. “Russ, the Body of Christ, the Bread of Heaven.”

“Amen.”

Drew picked up the cup of wine. “The Blood of Christ, the Cup of Salvation.” Clare dipped her wafer in the wine, and Russ did the same. They said the post-communion prayer and Drew put everything back into his kit. “Let us bless the Lord. Alleluia, alleluia.”

“Thanks be to God. Alleluia, alleluia.” Clare leaned back, smiling. “Thank you so much. I have really missed this.” Russ kissed her hair.

“No one should have to miss church on Easter. I’m glad I could do it for you.”

“How was the service this morning?”

“Packed. I don’t know everyone yet, but something tells me I will never see a lot of those people again.”

“Very true. They always come out of the woodwork for Easter and Christmas services. But what needs to be realized, is that just showing up on major Christian holidays isn’t enough.” She sighed. “My personal pet peeve. Sorry. So, Drew. We were wondering if you could do the twins’ baptism once they’re a couple months old?”

“Absolutely! Have you chosen godparents yet?”

Russ spoke up. “My sister and brother-in-law. We plan to stay in Millers Kill, so having someone nearby is best.”

“Are they Christians?”

“Yeah. They go to the Methodist church where I grew up.” Russ chuckled. “Not that I really wanted to go, but Mom dragged me along. It wasn’t until recently, that Clare turned me back.”

“It wasn’t me, Russ. God did that. I just helped Him out.” She kissed him lightly.

“That you did, love.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Please review!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing related to the Clare Fergusson/Russ Van Alstyne series. Everything belongs to Julia Spencer-Fleming; I just play in her back yard because it's cool there. No profits will be gained by this work. All liturgy was taken from the Episcopal Book of Common Prayer © 1986, the 1982 Hymnal and the New Zealand Prayer Book. One real life character, used by permission. No copyright infringement intended.  
> A/N: Picks up directly following the end of OWaS. If you haven’t read that first, do not read. Rated M for sexual content. Russ/Clare, Kevin/Hadley, OC, RPF, mostly follows canon

_Thurs, Apr 27 th, 2006_

Clare was watching T.V. when the cramping in her stomach started turning to pain. _‘Ugh. More Braxton Hicks.’_ She had been experiencing them off and on for the past two months and tried to ignore them. But when she felt a rush of water, she couldn’t ignore it any longer and grabbed her phone.

 _‘Come on Russ. Pick up… Pick up… Damn it!’_ She hung up, panicking, as it went to voicemail for the third time and dialed 911.

 

Russ was grabbing a cup of coffee in the break room and talking to Eric, when the call came in. “Miller’s Kill 911. What is your emergency?” he heard Harlene say from the dispatch room and wandered over. “Clare? Alright, stay calm, honey. I’ll send an ambulance out right now.” She looked up at Russ. “Yes, he’s right here. I’ll have him meet you at the hospital.”

Russ reached over and pushed the button to make the call go on speaker. “Clare? Darlin’, I’m right here! What’s going on?”

“Russ! I’m going into labor! And you didn’t answer your damn phone!”

 _‘Crap. I left it in my pocket.’_ He grabbed his coat and pulled out his phone, seeing her missed calls.“Oh God. I’m so sorry, Clare. Is it Braxton Hicks?”

“My freakin’ water broke, Russ! I think it’s real!” She was obviously in pain and getting frustrated with him.

“Okay, love.” Russ turned back to Harlene. “Where’s the ambulance?”

“En-route on Main. Should be there any moment.”

“I can hear the siren. I think they just pulled up, Russ.” He heard her scream against the pain and winced.

“Alright, honey. I’m leaving for the hospital now. I love you, darlin’.” He could still hear her screaming as he raced out of the station.

He pulled his truck up to the hospital right behind the ambulance, parked, and jumped out, running over to his wife as they pulled her out of the back. “Clare! I’m here.”

“Russ!” She grabbed his hand tightly. “Don’t leave me…”

“I won’t, love. I’m right here.” He jogged alongside the gurney as they took her inside and admitted her.

 

Once Anne got to the hospital, Russ stepped out into the hall to make some phone calls. _‘Who first? Mom…’_ He pulled out his cell. “Mom? Hey, Clare’s gone into labor. Can you swing by the rectory and grab her bags? They’re already all packed up by the door. We’re at Washington County. Room 315. Oh, and can you call Janet? I’m going to call her parents now. Thanks, Mom. See you soon.” He hung up and dialed her parents’ number in Virginia. “Mr. Fergusson? Hi, it’s Russ. Doing alright, but you might want to go ahead and head up here. Clare’s just gone into labor. Yes, she’s fine but I know she’ll want you here. Will you call Brian? Thank you, sir. We’re at Washington County Hospital in room 315. I’ll try to keep you updated. We’ll see you soon. Bye.” He hung up again and walked back into the hospital room where Anne was examining Clare.

“Alright, Clare. You are about 4 centimeters right now, so you’ve still got a ways to go. But, you are moving into active labor. We’ll get you all set up with an IV and the fetal monitors.” She stepped out to get a nurse.

Russ walked over, pulled a chair up next to the bed and took her hand again. “I called your parents and my mom. Your dad’s getting the plane ready now. How’re you doing, love?”

“I’m fine at the moment. I had another contraction right before you came in, so I’ve got a few minutes before the next one.” She squeezed his hand. “Russ… I’m scared.”

“I know you are. But you’re strong, love. You can do this. I know you can. I’ll be right here the whole time. Just squeeze my hand whenever you want.” He wiped some hair off her face and kissed her forehead. She gripped his hand hard and visibly winced, trying not to scream. “It’s okay, honey. You’re doing good. Scream if you need to.” She relaxed a few seconds later and he wiped her forehead with a cool rag.

“Thank you, Russ. Can I have some water?” He poured her a cup, and she took a couple sips. Anne came back with a nurse who put in her IV and attached the fetal monitors.

“Alright, Clare. It looks like they’re doing well. Both have strong heartbeats. Do you want something for the pain?”

Clare shook her head. “No. I don’t want to take any chances.”

“I understand. Let me know if you change your mind and we’ll get you something.”

“Thank you, Anne. How long do you think it will be?”

“No way to know for sure right now, but I’m expecting it will be several hours. You’re going to be here for a while.” She turned to Russ. “Is everyone on the way?”

“My mom’s going to get Clare’s things from the rectory and her parents are setting up a flight plan from Virginia.”

“Well, like I said, it’s going to be a while. Might as well get comfortable. I’ll be back in to check on you. Just come find me if you need anything in the meantime.”

“Absolutely.” Anne left again and he turned back to his wife as she gripped his hand tightly through another contraction. “You’re doing fine, love. You’ll have them in your arms soon.”

“Clare! Oh, sweetie. How’re you doing?” Margy came into the room and put the bags down in a chair.

“Hey, Margy. I’m just a little scared.”

“I know. But you’re going to be fine. Look what came out of me!” she laughed, pointing at her son. “He was a big baby. He was 10 pounds 2 ounces when he came out. And I was in labor for 19 hours.”

“Good Lord! How on earth did you do it?”

“A lot of screaming, and crying, and cussing my husband up and down.” Russ gawked at his mother and she laughed again. “Don’t be so shocked, sweetie. I’m sure she’s going to do the same thing to you. This is the one time we can do it and get away with it.”

 

Clare’s parents landed at the Floyd Bennett airport in Glens Falls around 11pm and got a taxi over to Miller’s Kill. They could hear their daughter screaming all the way down the maternity ward and found the room easily. They peeked in the door. “Can we come in?”

“Mother. Daddy.” Clare panted and reached for her mother. “You made it...”

“Hey, sweetheart. How’re you doing?” Clare’s mother walked over and kissed her forehead.

“She’s about 9 centimeters. It should be anytime now.” Clare squeezed her husband’s hand in a death grip and screamed again. “Jesus, Clare!”

“Shut the hell up, Russ! Arrgh! I’m never letting you touch me again!” she yelled, her face plainly showing the pain she was in.

Her father clapped him on the shoulder and chuckled. “Don’t worry, Russell. Her mother said the same thing to me. All three times, in fact.”

 

_Fri, Apr 28 th, 2006_

Everyone had left the room by midnight except for Russ, Clare, Anne, and the nurse. “Okay, Clare. You are right at ten centimeters, so I want you to tell me when you get the urge to push, alright?”

Clare nodded, breathing heavily, as Russ mopped her face. “You’re doing wonderful, love. They’re almost here.”

It only took a couple more contractions before Clare screamed bloody murder again. “Anne! Can I have that epidural now?” Tears were streaming down her cheeks.

“I’m sorry, Clare. It’s too late for that… It’s going to have to be completely natural now. Alright, sweetie. Your little boy is crowning. I want you to give me a really good push. One, two, three…”

Russ didn’t think he’d ever heard anyone scream this loudly. He felt almost useless, just standing there, trying to comfort her. “That was good, love. I can see his head. And his shoulders. He’s coming, darlin’. You can do this.” A few pushes later, they heard crying, and their little baby boy was born.

“Russ, would you like to cut the umbilical cord?”

He walked over to see his son for the first time and his breath caught in his throat. “Oh God, Clare. He’s perfect. My little boy...” Anne handed him off to the nurse to get cleaned up.

“Alright, one more to go. Clare, you’ve got a little break before your baby girl joins us, so you can rest for a minute. She’s going to be a little more difficult though, since she’s breech.”

A few minutes later, the nurse brought their son over to Clare, wrapped up in a blue blanket. She took him in her arms and fell in love immediately. “Oh, Russ. He’s beautiful. And he looks just like you.” Russ looked down at his wife and son, and couldn’t help but smile with pride. He leaned down and kissed his wife lightly.

“I love you so much, Clare.”

“I love you too, Russ. You want to hold him?” She handed their baby boy to him, and just in time. “Anne? Oh my God… Ow, ow, ow! I have to push again…”

“Alright, Clare. I can see her little bottom. Push for me.” Clare grabbed her legs and pushed as hard as she could through the contraction.

“I can’t. Oh, God. I can’t do it!” She was crying again. Russ gave his son back to the nurse and walked back to his wife, taking her hand again.

“Yes, you can, Clare. I know you can. Push against my hands as hard as you can.” He braced himself as she did so. “That’s good, darlin’.”

“Clare, I need you to give me one more big push, and she’ll be out, okay? Come on, one, two, three… Good girl.” She pulled their daughter out, but they didn’t hear any crying.

“Wait, why isn’t she crying? Anne! Is she alright?” Clare felt like her world was crashing down around her. Five seconds. Ten seconds. Fifteen. Twenty. Clare’s tears returned.

And then she cried. It was the happiest sound they had ever heard. Russ gathered his wife in his arms, tears falling from his eyes as well. “She’s alright. She’s okay.”

“Yes, she’s fine. The umbilical cord had wrapped around her neck, but she’s going to be just fine. Here’s your little girl.” Anne laid the baby girl on Clare’s chest.

“Oh, my little princess. You scared me.” She looked up at Russ and smiled. “And your Daddy, too.” The nurse handed the boy back to his father. “Russ, I want to name the boy after you.”

“Thank you, love. That means so much to me. And I think we should name the girl Peyton Grace, after you and your sister. What do you think?”

“I love it.” She looked down at her daughter. “Hey there, my beautiful little girl. Peyton Grace.”

 

Russ walked out to the waiting room. “Clare and the babies are just fine. She’s resting, but you can come on back.”

Margy and Clare’s parents followed him back to their room. “Can we see our grandchildren?”

“Hi, Mother. Hi, Daddy. Come on in. Hey, Margy.” Clare smiled wearily. “I want you to meet Peyton Grace and Russell Howard Van Alstyne, Jr.”

“Oh, Clare. They’re beautiful.” Mrs. Fergusson took her granddaughter from Clare with tears in her eyes, remembering the daughter they had lost. “Hello there, sweetheart. You have a very special name, and a very special Mommy and Daddy.”

“Sweetie, can I hold my grandson?” Margy asked, taking him from his father. “Oh, Russell! He looks just like you did as a baby. Hello, handsome. Oh, Grandma’s going to spoil you to death!”

Russ sat on the edge of the bed and looked down at his wife, who was smiling at their parents. He leaned down to kiss her. “Get some rest, love. You deserve it.”

 

Margy had taken Clare’s parents back to her house, and his wife was finally sleeping. So, Russ walked down to the nursery and sat with his children. He just couldn’t take his eyes off them. He had fallen in love all over again. When he looked up from holding his daughter, he saw half his force standing outside the window. It was Lyle, Eric, Harlene, Kevin, and Hadley. They were all looking in at him, smiling and waving, with balloons and two little teddy bears. He couldn’t help it; he grinned back at them, mouthed ‘I’m a father,’ and waved her little arm.

“You know, I think this is going to be really good for him.” Harlene looked at the others, smiling. “He’ll really enjoy being a father.”

“Yeah, he already looks really proud.” They watched as Russ put Peyton back into the bassinet with her brother and walked out to see them.

“Hey there, Daddy-O.”

“Hi guys. Thanks for coming.” He looked around at them all. “So who’s on duty?”

“Don’t worry, Chief. It’s covered. You’re on paternity leave for two weeks, starting today. The county already approved it and sends their congratulations.” Lyle grinned at him. “So, what’d you name them?”

Russ smiled and turned back to the window, looking in at his children. “Peyton Grace and Russell Howard.”

“Uh, oh. Another Russ Van Alstyne? We’re in for trouble.” They all cracked up.

“Yeah, yeah. No ragging on my son. We’re going to call him R.J.” He sighed, leaning his head up against the glass. “They’re so beautiful… I can’t believe I’m actually a father.”

 

Russ had fallen asleep in a chair by the bed, when Peyton started crying. He woke with a start, jumping up to get to his daughter.

“It’s okay, Russ. I’ve got her. She’s just hungry. Ssh, baby girl. Momma’s here.”

Russ watched as his wife fed and burped their daughter, like the nurse had shown them. He got up and stood next to the bed, listening as Clare sang quietly to their daughter.

 _“Sleep my child and peace attend thee, all through the night. Guardian angels, God will send thee, all through the night. Soft the drowsy hours are creeping, hill and dale in slumber steeping. I, my loved one, watch am keeping, all through the night.”_ Clare smiled, seeing that she had fallen asleep.

“That was beautiful, love.” Russ leaned down to kiss her lightly.

“I sang it a lot while I was on bed rest and you were working late. Will you put her down to sleep while I feed R.J.?”

“Of course.” He returned his daughter to the bassinet and brought his son back to the bed. “Dinner time, buddy.” He sat down on the edge of the bed, watching again as she fed their son. “Does that hurt, Clare?”

She chuckled. “Not really, but it feels strange. Compared to giving birth, this is nothing, though. That was the most pain I had ever felt. But, to be honest, I’m really glad I didn’t take the epidural.”

“Why? You were in a lot of pain!”

“Yeah. I was. But that was the only time I will experience childbirth. I wanted the whole experience.” R.J. yawned and she looked back down at him. “All done, little guy?” Russ picked up his son to burp him and put him back down with his sister.

“Sleep well, my children.” He stood over them for a moment, just watching them sleep.

“What are you thinking, Russ?”

“You’ve given me things I never thought I’d ever have. I have you. And I have two beautiful children. My own family.” He looked back at her, smiling, but his eyes glistened with tears. “And I’m going to hold onto the three of you and never let go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Well, that's the end. I have no experience with pregnancy, so I did do research, but I'm probably still way off on dates and whatnot. I am currently working on a sequel tentatively named "Onward Christian Soldier." If I get a good reception to "All Through the Night", I'll go ahead and start posting the first part of that one. Thanks for reading!


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